Tuesday, September 11, 2007

eventu-AL

Wherein Al describes his misery.


Well, loyal readers, Al is unhappy. I am missing a tri this weekend due to this injury. There is one more in early October that I was hoping to make a miraculous comeback for, but instead I feel like a fat, stupid, bleach blonde, trailer-trash, bitch who can't dance and sure as shit can't sing.



Rehab has been slow and painful. I have been biking with little or no resistance on the trainer, swimming, and doing some stretching/light load bearing exercises religiously for the last 2-3 weeks. Today, I tried to walk on the treadmill at a faster than normal pace. I also tried run/trotting a little. I made it about 1/4 mile when I felt the calf tighten up. I immediately stopped and switched to the trainer. FUCK!!!!!

This is a slow business. I must remind myself that I've come back from worse, that I can't rush this, that eventually all will be well.

One positive note has been this stick massager I got. Really gets a deep tissue rub going. I like it! (And no, heywood and Fred, you can't borrow mine.) No worries, folks, I'll hang in there. Just wishing this would hurry up and heal.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Al,

Actually, none of us give a shit.

But that's a topic for another time.

What fred would like to say is that cyclocross may be your ticket to health and happiness. Knock off the tri dreams. Tri is for homos who live in Kona. Also, tri is unsanitary--anytime you keep a bottle near your ass you're asking for a gastro-intestinal disco dance.

ps, you might find your missing man tackle out on a cross course.

Moveitfred said...

Well, maybe motocross is for me too? but if I do "go cyclo" as Fred suggests, can I be a steely eyed bad ass competitor like him? This is wehat al wonders.

Anonymous said...

Fred knows this little place in Auburn, Cali where you can get your moto giggy on. Heywood, how you get there?

Anonymous said...

Is Moveitfred the only person who appreciated the love and sacrifice of Brit's performance? Mebbe it's cause fred likes his chicks kinda dumb and stumbly.

Heywood Jablome said...

Al, I am sure that stick thing is working magnificently for you. I just don't comprehend how ramming something up your ass repeatedly will be of any assistance to the calf injury. I guess sometimes facts are stranger than fiction.

And for the moto giggy thing, Al will first have to loose some teeth, grow out the hair towards the rear of his head, and stop putting suntan lotion on the back of his neck. Then, he will be running pole position fo sho.

Matt Simpson said...

STick Massager, Brit, wow, best post yet....BTW, I appreciated the HELL out of her performance, then again, I am over 30 and look at everything under 18....

Moveitfred said...

Thank you, Felt. I've been trying to educate these boors but it's pearls before swine, pearls before swine.