Saturday, July 21, 2007

What the?

Suddenly Chicken is one of the top time trialers in the world? WTF? Did he just luck out with dry roads or is there, ahem, something else going on? He looked baked at the end of it all.

Is Levi giving his all and no better than a 5th place rider, or is he saving for something? Shooting par on every stage does not a Tour win. Do that too often and suddenly someone else is leading your team.

Can Vino get back 5 plus mins? That guy's Kazak blood looks boiling mad.

Is Evans the real deal? He seems to be having more success playing the Levi game.

Will Sastre and Mayo pop off some big days in the mountains? What the hell, right?

Who the hell is Kashechkin? Another one of those commie goons?

Is Klöden going to win the whole damn thing?

Tune in tomorrow....

Friday, July 20, 2007

Caption Contest



_______________________

Chicken Shit?

From cyclingnews.com:
"Prudhomme informed the press that the Danish federation was unable to find Michael Rasmussen for doping tests on May 8 and June 28, 2007, despite a program in place where riders need to always let the national federations know if they travel and where they can be reached."


Hey, that's one way not to get caught.

Thursday, July 19, 2007

bi-AL

Wherein Al Discusses His Training and Upcoming Events (as opposed to Jerk it Fred who discusses his stroke material)

Here's a little bit of coincidence for you:

Yesterday, I was doing a brutal duALthlon in prep for a week from Sunday's Olympic Tri.
The workout consisted of a 20 mile ride--a loop course that I repeated 4 times including 4x up a nice hill in a loop. Then I transitioned to a 5 mile run repeating this same hill 4x again. In the transition, I grabbed 2 lemon/lime power gels and stuffed 'em in my pocket, and pulled my run bottle to rehydrate on the move. It was hot, and I was dry and definitely short on cals (I'd skipped lunch for some stupid reason). Anyway, I sucked down both gels while trotting and choked down some electolyte drink. {An aside about gel...never liked 'em. They have the consistency of toothpaste, and I gag on them in the best circumstances.} As the second went down, I knew I was in trouble. Rumble. Teary Gag. Acid burp. HURL! Mid stride, I spewed the gels roadside.

After a 1/2 mile, I was ok and smiling. Iwas thinking of poor fucking Heywood, the dumbass pedaling up everest and trying to choke down a tuna melt.

Anyway, here's a little something in the run/bike vein:


Thank You For Playing

Moveitfred would like to thank Johnny Applebag for participating in yesterday's quiz. Well Johnny, although you were in the correct ballpark with all of your answers Moveitfred is afraid you were ultimately incorrect. Score: zero.

Sorry Johnny (and all you other readers who Moveitfred is sure have been pondering these questions and formulating answers), the prize for yesterday's quiz will be put back into storage until the next quiz.


Ok, so the answers to the July 18 quiz can be found at Mandy Lozano's blog.


Ms. Lozano has a curtain of hair, a bff named Cara, a modeling career, and a picture of her bruised, bare ass up on the web.


Ms. Lozano can also beat the crap out of all 3 bicoastal boys in a 1 vs 3 sprint.


Ms. Lozano is Moveitfred's new bff.


Al used to be Moveitfred's bff. Al used to post pictures of his ass on the web too. Those were the days.

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Quiz for July 18


A) What is this?
B) Who is this?
C) Where is this?
D) Why is this?

Sunday, July 15, 2007

Death Ride

First and foremost, Heywood would like to extend his apologies to the few but faithful readers of this magnificent blog for his lack of postings in recent weeks. With the family vacation which Moveitfred described so eloquently, work, and last minute training, he has been blogged down. So here it is.

Last January, Heywood Jablome got some wild hair up his ass and decided add his name to the lottery to the Death Ride. The whole time he was thinking “what are the fucking chances I will get picked anyway.” So Heywood entered his name and his credit card # (4774 5873 9969 8989) on the appropriate line and the registration was complete.

March rolls around and Mrs. Jablome notices an unusual $90 purchase on the monthly statement from the Credit Card Company. “Woody, what did you buy for me that was $90 and where is it?” Knowing full well he bought nothing for the wife, Heywood glanced at the bill and realized that he was screwed. Non-refundable. So his training started that day.

Fast forward a few months and the Death Ride is upon us. On Friday night, Heywood was invited to sleep in a friends RV parked in the dirt lot next to the staging area. Before arriving in Markleeville, CA, rumor was that no one goes to this event anymore because it was too crowded. They were right. One could hardly find a place to park a 40’ house on wheels. After getting settled in, a bunch of riders sat around the RV giving excuses why they may not complete all five passes. Folks, the ride hasn’t even started yet and y’all are spinning the wheel already. Come on. So after Heywood finish his six-pack of beer, he explained to everyone that he drank too much and that he was going to take it easy on Saturday. He then retired to bed.

#$&%%*^*^^%&. At 4:00am (0400 hrs for you military geeks) there was an awfully loud noise coming from the staging area. For some unexplained reason, the organizers of this event like to wake everybody up at 4:00am with extremely loud music.

At 5:30 am Heywood was on the road with bike under him. Monitor Pass was the first two passes to be conquered. The roads on this pass are perfect for a fast descent, allowing for speeds in the 50+ range for almost the entire back side. Next, ride to Ebbetts Pass for the tough third pass. There are a few sections reaching 18 percent causing instant chest pain in all but the most fit riders. The back side of Ebbetts was shorter and seemed to be the easiest of all the passes for Wood. Then, the hilly long ride over to Carson Pass.

Now Mrs. Jablome and Heywood arranged for the Mrs. to have a hearty sandwich waiting for Wood at the staging area. Wood would pick this up while riding past Turtle Rock Road while on the way to the last pass. So Heywood rode past the lunch stop and was salivating thinking of his lunch to come with the Mrs. While approaching Turtle Rock Road, the Mrs. flagged him down and handed him his sandwich. Big, thick tuna sandwich with mayo, cheese, and many more fixings. Only one problem. The Mrs. made this sandwich earlier in the day and decided to let it sit out in the 94 degree heat and rot. On his first bite, Heywood about puked. Nice try, but thanks. On to the final pass with no lunch. This meant that Wood bonked. It took a while but he finally finished Carson Pass. That’s right, ALL FIVE PASSES FOLKS! So there you have it.

Heywood’s friend Michael Rasmussen called him Saturday night to congratulate him on his fine accomplishment. Rasmussen asked for some advice for the next big stage so Wood gave him some tips. Eat early, eat often, and go for the win. Heywood Jablome hopes it works out for him on Sunday.