Monday, November 12, 2007

Who turned off the lights?

A few months back Heywood ordered a night light for his mountain bike from a company located right here in the golden state of California. The company, Niterider. The light, Trinewt. The first impression, AWSOME!

The light just arrived at Auburn bike works (the BEST bike shop around) last week. Apparently, backorders from Niterider are common this time of year and Heywood’s experience was similar. Heywood was itching to hit the trails and witness first hand what the big hoopla was about riding after the sun has set.

Victory Velo (the second best bike shop around) holds group night rides every Thursday evening at 6:00pm. The Chef, Big Cat, and the Wood all decided to strut there substance with all the other hooligans. In all, there were 12 riders with balls big enough to tackle the most technical singletrack in these parts.

Getting used to riding in the dark with a large spot light mounted on the helmet takes a little time. The dust kicked up by other riders acts like fog, diminishing the effectiveness of the light. The lack of depth perception allows rocks to quietly sneak up on unsuspecting riders turning the most basic trail into a challenging adventure. Also, the lack of light hides the snipers in the trees who shot Heywood’s front tire out causing him to go over the bars leading with his large head. The whole experience is so freaking fun it is hard to put into words. The group put in about 12 miles on the trail and 5 on the road. Mostly singletrack following the raging river below. You can bet your bottom dollar Heywood will be back again next Thursday with lights shining. There were a few casualties on the ride. One guy had to cut out early; his mom was calling him home. Another had a broken rear derailleur. Fucker snapped clean off. Only problem is the group was dead smack in the middle. 6 mile walk either direction. Wood never has seen so many full-grown men terrified of the night. The guy was quaking in his boots when the thought of walking back alone crossed his mind. Finally, he convinced the Soldier to accompany him and fend off any wild cats they may encounter. Huh, pussies, just cats guys.

And by the way, the Chef rocked this ride. Despite being out of his element when away from the kitchen, he tore it up. All it took in his words was a little synthetic courage (shin/knee pads, elbow pads, chest pad, maxi-pad with wings). Strong work!

So the light worked marvelously. Very bright. Charges in about 4 hours and can last over 7 hours. Wood tried the light on his helmet but wants to try mounting to the handlebars. How many days until Thursday?

P.S. CrankBrothers replaced Heywood’s Candy SL broken pedals, no questions asked. They were back at Casa de Wood in less than a week from the day he shipped them. That is good customer service if you ask him!

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

Dude, Moveitfred is SURE you are in violation of some sort of Cali environmental impact law of one kind or another. Those beams prolly are disrupting the mating habits of a Least Mountain Vole or other such marginalized creature.

And Moveitfred knows things are tight at La Casa de Jablome these days, but Crank Bros is putting on a little event next weekend out here, including all your favs. Fuck, if you're willing to burn up the Cali landscape with those lights what's a little jet fuel?

Anonymous said...

PS--you know what you can get Moveitfred this holiday season, you giving soul you.

Heywood Jablome said...

Moveitfred,
Don't believe I can make it out to NJ. Trying to persuade my friend Robby to go with me but he has not given me a comprehensible answer yet and I don’t want to travel alone. I am scared. Speaking of Robby, dude looks like Jack from Jack in the Box. Freaking head makes up like 1/3rd his body. Tatonka!

Anonymous said...

It's Moveitfred's understanding that dudes with big heads travel free. Some sort of promo deal going on right now.

Weak, man, very weak.

Anonymous said...

When my balls outweigh by brain, I'll leave my maxi pads at home.

Heywood Jablome said...

With those lycra jogging tights you borrowed from your wife, it's clear that you have a long way to go before your balls out-weigh your brain.

Anonymous said...

The Jablome's had the Chef's over for some baby back ribs tonight. Mrs. Chef and I are getting suspicious about the sexual preferences of our husbands. When Mr. J calls me Babe- the Chef doesn't skip a beat and replies with a, "What?" They gigggle an awful lot, too. I bet they were on a "night ride."

Anonymous said...

Sorry did you two say some thing, I was gettin a glass of water...

Heywood Jablome said...

Yeah, I said queers can't hear.

Anonymous said...

Mrs. J., Should I be suspicious that my husband's Christmas list includes things like a Liza Minelli record, a Rainbow T-shirt, and a Brokeback Mtn. DVD?

Anonymous said...

This is what people out here refer to as a "west coast ramble."

How bout y'all get your heads glued on straight by watching some of that monkey moto racing down the street this weekend?

Heywood Jablome said...

The monkeys are locked up in there cells until next year. You know you like it Fred. Want to be the monkey on my back?

Anonymous said...

Don't start with me, douche.

Heywood Jablome said...

Take it easy Freddy boy. Go sit down, drink a pot or two and relax.