Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Word Fun

From the Washington Post:

The American Family Association obviously didn't foresee the problems that might arise with its strict policy to always replace the word "gay" with "homosexual" on the Web site of its Christian news outlet, OneNewsNow. The group's automated system for changing the forbidden word wound up publishing a story about a world-class sprinter named "Tyson Homosexual" who qualified this week for the Beijing Olympics.

The problem: Tyson's real last name is Gay. Therefore, OneNewsNow's reliable software changed the Associated Press story about Tyson Gay's amazing Olympic qualifying trial to read this way:

Tyson Homosexual was a blur in blue, sprinting 100 meters faster than anyone ever has.
His time of 9.68 seconds at the U.S. Olympic trials Sunday doesn't count as a world record, because it was run with the help of a too-strong tailwind. Here's what does matter: Homosexual qualified for his first Summer Games team and served notice he's certainly someone to watch in Beijing.

"It means a lot to me," the 25-year-old Homosexual said. "I'm glad my body could do it, because now I know I have it in me."

This reminds Moveitfred of the time The Modesto Star Express ran a story on Heywood. Something about Woody single-handedly pulling a driver and his mistress to safety from a horrific I-5 raisin truck explosion.

Tired of jr. high pranksters always making light of "potty words" that appeared in hard news copy, the editors installed a similar software program that flagged the "blo" in our hero's name and turned it into JaFellatiome.

You go to Heywood's house these days and you'll see copies of the story framed all over the walls with the "fellatio" carefully struck out and the word "blo" neatly written in underneath.


Johnny Applebag said...

I think you know what I mean when I say

Heywood Jablome said...

I believe that you have pictures of me posted all over your house too. Does that make you gay(homosexual) too?