Friday, September 19, 2008

Speaking of Train Wrecks

Our hero, Al, is currently dreaming up some sort of fucking Frankenbike that's going to be sporting a--better sit down for this one--Rohloff 14-speeder hub.

Al claims he's going to be The Master of Disaster with this new setup. He's going to take on the urban jungles of the north shore of Long Island, blast open a new aesthetic for travel, and kick the shit out of the lycramodel set now clogging the roadways.

Let us, too, send our heartfelt wishes for success and healing to the meritorious Al. The knife awaits him. The docs are going in. He'll be sporting a new chassis in a couple of days.

Godspeed Al.

11 comments:

GVB said...

We can rebuild him. We have the technology.

solobreak said...

I'm not going Rohloff until they make one with a disc brake.

solobreak said...

Hey, whaddayaknow, they already do.

moveitfred said...

Moveitfred is not going Rohloff until he enters the nursing home.

spin-AL said...

Al will be rebuilt. Tuesday, 9/23 is the day. Doc will be cutting into ole Al's spine and cutting out disc material at the L 3,4 and 5 levels as necessary. We'll see what else needs doing when he gets in there. (I'm wondering if he'd mind flipping me over and doing a vasectomy while he's at it but that's another story.)

More importantly...the aforementioned FRANKENSTEIN...too much information... built on a steel 29er platform (Surly Karate Monkey). It will have the Rohloff speehub 14 gear internal gear hub in back, Shimano xt in front. DT 14/15s. Rims will be salsa Delgado Race 29er disc. Disc brakes will probably be Maguras. Cranks will be sugino tracks. Chainring is a salsa 39.

Bars will be drops...here's where it gets interesting. Rohloff doesn't make a controller for drops. (and you can only use Rohloff shifters.) They make a twist shift for straights. There are a few options...use a Hubbud extender at the end of a cutdown drop bar. Mount the shifter on the extender at the end of the drop bar. OR...use a MTB bar end mounted off the steerer at a right angle. Mount the twist shift on the bar end off the side of the steerer and angled slightly forward (so you do not knee it when you're standing and pedaling). The bar end is usually cut down after this so it looks neat. Cool shit.

I want to do a sort of retro look to this modern monster. Bars will be Major Taylor style drops, shiny chrome fenders on this bad boy too. And some leather grippies to match the Brooks saddle. Nice. It'll be my adventuretour cyclocommuter.

Click on my name to see the hub.

solobreak said...

Major Al, with your back issues and all, wouldn't apehangers make more sense? Maybe a Rohloff tat on those pipes of yours, and a sleeveless leather skinsuit to go with the trips, saddle and fender extensions? Front fender has got to be fully valanced too.

Al B Hard said...

Fahk, Solo gettin' all sarcastic on Al's ass. Whoa. Yeah, yeah, I know. Douchey idea. fred beat me up too. Plan is in flux. Biggest drawback to the Rohloff is the price, frankly.

solobreak said...

Gee, I thought I was being serious and supportive.

If it's just a commuter, isn't a Nexus good enough? It's not like you're climbing mountains down there.

moveitfred said...

Whoa, least you forget Mont Al?

2.4% for .36 mi.

Knock off the smart-ALicky shit, solo.

solobreak said...

These bars are compatible with the rollhoff shifters.

Heywood Jablome said...

Al, WTF has happened to you. What you drinking? Why not just get a recumbent and kill yourself while you’re at it. Good luck going under today. Back surgery, huh? Fred said you had no spine so this kind of strikes me as an unnecessary surgery. Oh well. Maybe they could reverse that lobotomy that you obviously received not long ago. Rohloff? Really?

And one last thing, Maguras suck. Shimano XT disc is the way to go. Shit works like a dream.