Out here in Suburban Hell there seems to be this new fucking annoying holiday trend going on.
Ghosting.
Yes, that's a verb. To begin, how fucking annoying is that?
For those of you lucky enough not to know, here's how it works:
Some fucking cheery family gets together and fills a bucket with candy and other annoying shit. Then they print out/photocopy the same fucking note that everyone else seems to be using. Says something clever like "Boo! You've been Ghosted! Now it's time for you to Ghost two other families in the neighborhood!" They tape the note to the bucket, put on dark clothes, creep around the fucking neighborhood and up to your door, drop the bucket on the front step, ring the bell, and run like hell.
Family fred has been "Ghosted" the last two nights.
Time to set the traps and put an end to this crap.
5 comments:
Holy fucking shit! Don't you douchebags out there in pastora-burb have anything better to do? (Like shop for matching tennis outfits or bake a fucking pie?) Moveitfred can play the innocent, but AL knows that FFF (Festive Fucking Fred) has a haunted house in the works in his garage for the Fred's Annual (SPOOKY!) Halloween extravaganza. And I've seen your gay little invites with those ever so scary ghosts and goblins. (BOO!) You are such a fag!
Here's my suggestion: bear traps are good. But I think a 12 gauge with rock salt loads will work better. Give the Biffingtons an ass load of salt to tweeze out over the next few weeks. That'll give those cocksuckers pause.
"Ghosting." Get fucked!
How about this:
Take a shit in a rusty bucket. Return the favor and leave that on their porch. Add this note: "I fed your fucking candy to my dog. "Ghost" me again and I'll come after you with an axe." You might want to sign off with a "Fuck You" or include a glossy 8x10 of your balls.
What I like to do is get dressed up in crotchless leather chaps and a silk shawl. I get a little chub going to complete the scene. Then I throw the door open for little tricksters and give them a "Hi, come on in..."
Festival Fucking Fred is torture. No doubt. Like pulling fingernails with pliers. Or reading Shakespearean sonnets.
retaliate with the flaming bag of poo.
Post a Comment