This Sucks

It is a little known fact that Heywood is training for a 20 kilometer trail run in late December. One problem that constantly arises is his inability to run. The best way to describe his inabilities is to compare him to Moveitfred. Everyone knows Fred looks like a fish out of water when he attempts to pick’em up and put’em down. Those gangly arms flailing about as his feet attempt to propel his 7’2” frame forward. Now imagine that guy is 6’3”, exceptionally attractive and his name is Heywood Jablome. There you have it. Clear as mud?

So Wood has been hitting the trails whenever possible trying to develop this skill. Yesterday, he could be found at the local high school track running some intervals. While running, Wood was feeling pretty down on himself not seeing a marked improvement with his split times. Is this working? Will he ever get faster? Why is he out hear? All these questions were filling up his head causing him to loose motivation. He began to explore the surroundings looking for some inspiration to keep going.

The lard ass eating McDonalds in the bleachers was not exactly inspiring. Neither was the chain smoker walking laps next to Wood. With his hands on his hips ready to quit and go home, Heywood looked up to the skies before something caught his eye. STACEY DRAGILA. Not in person, but her name there on the billboard. That’s right, she went to this high school. She ran on this same track before it was renamed in her honor. She got her start right here in Auburn before becoming a world record holder in the pole vault. Yes, this is what Wood wanted, true inspiration. Placer High School, the land where champions are created. “I can do this,” he thought as images of Stacy Dragila ran through his brain. Those firm thigh muscles flexing as she runs. Those glutes tightening up as she pulls herself up and over the bar while riding a long stiff pole. Yes, Wood is inspired. He picked up the pace. Faster and faster the miles clicked by. Soon, his training objective for the day was complete and it was time to go home. This running stuff is fun.