Saturday, April 28, 2007

Watch out for that...

Classic cycling moment brought to you by Moveitfred Jr:

Moveitfred and Moveitfred Jr. (six years old and beginning to dig the whole zen/bike thing) are out for a 2 mile spin around the harbor.

Close to home Moveitfred Jr. jumps a curb onto the sidewalk and says, "Hey Moveitfred, watch this!"

"Dude, what are you doing?"

"Watch, just watch..."

WHAM! Straight into a telephone pole.

Moveitfred peels over to admire the yard sale and says, "Dude, what happened?"

Moveitfred Jr. shakes away the pink canaries and says, "Ah man, now THAT wasn't supposed to happen...."

7 comments:

Heywood Jablome said...

Gotta love that little guy (with a very large head). Send'em out to see Heywood and he will be jumping more than just curbs by the end of the summer. Got health ins.?

Anonymous said...

Yeah.

Came in handy for a broken leg along with about 15 stitches in the first six years.

Currently--and not from today's pole--he's sporting some gangreney looking road rash on his leg and elbow. Yum.

Moveitfred said...

My kind of kid! True story: I tried to jump 2 garbage cans when I was 7 (homemade ramp in the street with other street urchins kind of deal). I was riding this shitty, hand me down, Apollo 3 speed with the stick shift on the top tube ('cept the ball on the stick shift was missing so it was more like a big f'ing blade sticking up off the tube). Anyway, I hit the ramp at full speed and went airborne. As I launched myself over the cans, I realized that I had never done anything remotely like this and had no idea how to land or what to do with the bike while in the air. The one image I could call up was of Evil Knievel flying over a shitload of buses and landing with his arms up in the air. I figured, "that'll work." So I stuck my arms up in the air and tried to land the ole Apollo sans hands.

Shortly after impact, I found myself somersaulting through the air (this, of course, was without the bike). I had a tremendous pain in my groin area from slamming off the seat and ripping my pants open on the shifter (this was just prior to flipping over the handle bars). I slammed into the ground and knocked the wind out of myself (as well as delivering a numbers of burns, bumps, cuts, bruises, lacerations etc.) I tried to catch my breath, forgetting for a moment about my nuts. Then suddenly, the pain in my ball area returned and I panicked. I sat up and grabbed at my crotch. My pants were ripped open and the whole area hurt.

In the end, my balls were not torn from my body, as I feared. The shifter had torn my pants from just above the knee to up by the rear pockets. The back of my leg and my poor sack took a serious scraping. But, I am happy to report, I lost no function after recovery.

Anonymous said...

Bicoastal,

You should quit the factory and become a writer. That story had me on the edge of my seat in suspense.

Moveitfred said...

Either that or I should start writing a blog.

megA said...

i once checked to see if indeed i had ripped off a nipple on a particularly spectacular high-sided mt bike crash.

it's still there, whew!

Moveitfred said...

See, I'm not totally crazy. This shit happens. But, Meg, did you do the deed on a beat to shit Apollo 3 speed (circa 1974)?