charitab-AL

Both Al and Fred have been subjected to American Idol by wives/kids this season. It's certainly had a negative effect on us. I've followed my natural bent and spun off even further into sickness and depravity. (I've been thinking that little miss Kristy Lee ain't as wholesome as she lets on. I'm waiting for the underground porn tape to surface. I'm picturing a vid phone mpeg, all jumpy and grainy and shot from dick level. Kristy Lee is all teary eyed and make-up smeared at the center of some truck stop bukkake circle.) Fred, too, has followed his natural bent. He's fantasizing about long walks and deep talks with Brooke White. He wants 7 grain veggie sandwich picnics and zinfandel beside a stream. He's all misty eyed, snapping his fingers and singing along with her.

So, in that spirit, I thought I'd offer this to Freddy: (And Fred...think of what she could do with your hair.)



Here's one other point I'd like to have considered--only tangentially related. What do you think of a broad who writes a song FULL of specific details about your life

Well I hear you went up to Saratoga
And your horse naturally won
Then you flew your Lear jet up to Nova Scotia
To see the total eclipse of the sun

and then kicks you in the ass for vanity because you knew the song was about you? I mean what the fuck?