Eureka!

Heywood Here,

We're out! The time has come for the Jablome family to ditch their bulletproof jackets and head for the hills. Mrs. Jablome was kind enough to inform me of our relocation with a FOR SALE sign on the front lawn. I only hope she plans on dragging me along for the ride. This is like déjà vu all over again.

I’m not exactly smart but I try to learn from others mistakes. You can observe a lot just by watching. So when it came time to pack my shit for this voyage, I left this to the professionals. Turns out there are a few holes in there system which translates into lost assets of mine: comfy duct tape covered La-Z-Boy, beloved jeans, and a collection of Playboy magazines featuring the most beautiful women in the world. Fortunately for Mrs. Jablome, none of her shit was misplaced. She has all the luck.

The new Jablome household is located in the gold country of California. Hoping to strike it rich up here so we can afford to upgrade our new abode. When not panning for gold, Heywood will be found exploring the trails of the Auburn State Recreational Area which borders the new casa de Jablome. Legend has it that the best singletrack in Cali is now just a stones throw away. I am hoping this will improve necessary skills on the trail and propel team Heywood to a podium finish in upcoming adventure races. Only time will tell.

Al, good luck in the run tomorrow. Fred, do something for once.

The Boys as, well, boys

Funnier than a kick in the nuts.

A Knockout.

Icic-Al

Ok, I admit it. I am a bit of a wuss. (How does one spell "wuss"?) Tomorrow is the Manhattan 1/2 Marathon, and I've got some worries. I'll start with the smallest concern:

1) The course is much tougher than I remember. I was just looking at the course description...it is two loops around Central Park with a finish on 102nd street. For those of you in the know, you know this is CHALLENGING! Two loops = 2 times up the steep "Cat Hill," 2 times up the long grade on the east side by the museum (about a mile long grade), 2 times up the STEEP/ LONG hill at the extreme north end of the park (this hill is a bitch). Ugh! I may scale back that 8 minute per mile plan. I'll see how I feel.

2) COLD. The weather is supposed to be in the 20s and windy at race start. Once I'm running, no issue really. But race day sign up is at 7 and race start is at 8:30. Ouch. also the start is at 84th and the finish at 102nd, which means some post race maneuvers to get back to subway or car. Al plans to bring some shitty old clothes and toss them at race start. Garbage bags are good in the plan too. (Black plastic = ghetto space blanket, y'all.)




Happy Trails, Fred. Wish Cracky and I were joining you out at Calverton...

Kloden Wins!

Well, kids, Moveitfred here wallowing through a bout of self-pity at having to return to his factory gig this week. What really gets to Moveitfred is that his good pal, Al Bangorhard, gets one more week of jerk-off time while freddo is busy making sure the conveyor belts are well-oiled for Al's return.

But, please, don't feel too sad for your ol' buddy Moveitfred. Moveitfred, with the expert guidance of mentor Al, has restructured his off-season routine to include some running and gastric intake maintenance along with the usual cycling work. Moveitfred loves Al (in a sort of aggressive man-to-man way, sans touching).

But what really tickled Moveitfred's sack of dicks today (or is it "bag" of dicks? Moveitfred can't remember) was the story out of the UK about some, uh, funny inconsistencies in the motor oil of apparent 06 TDF winner-to-be Pereiro. Oscar tests positive after stage 14 AND stage 16 and gets the green light to Tour dessus, ami! to Paris.

Hey, how 'bout that pro cycling, kids?

So now, as Moveitfred figures it, we're looking at an announcement sometime in 07 that our podium is:

1. Klodie
2. Little Carlos
3. Aussie Evans

Three clean-as-a-whistle riders, oui? Suppose Klodie and Ullrich swapped out a few doc appointments along the way? Think Little Carlos missed all those after-hours meetings Riis had with the crew? (Moveitfred ain't got nothin' on Evans other than the fact that he's an Aussie and lots of Aussies are assholes)

Bag o' dicks? Let's shout out a rousing AMEN! for bags and bags o' blood!

Where the fuck is LiveStrong when we need him?

This week in (very cold) running

Al here!

Well, maybe it is winter after all here in the Northeast. (All this warm weather should make you nervous.) 30 degrees today and a brisk wind. More cold weather promised for the rest of the week. Brrr. Should toughen me up a bit. This week features 36 miles for me as I build towards the LI Marathon.


At the end of the week, I'm planning to do the Manhattan 1/2 marathon (13.1). I'm looking at it as just a training run--get me back into distances above 10 miles. I'd like to do it at an 8 to 8:10 pace. This should be do-able...if I'm healthy. My daughter has had walking pneumonia for the last 10 days. I've been caring for her, and now I'm starting to feel under the weather. I'm not coughing, but I'm a bit congested, a bit weak, and my chest feels tight and hurts a little. (EEEK!)

Now, to return to a thought from the comments that followed a last week post ("Over the Hills and Through the Woods").
Mega commented that the post was "funnier than a bag of dicks." Some of us here had never heard the expression...much commenting ensued. Just today though, a friend sent me this video. (Not for the faint hearted.) Funny coincidence, eh? Now this is funnier than a bag of dicks!

Of Marathons, Duathlons, Triathlons, Fred-athlon

Al Here. So I went and registered for the Long Island Marathon (doing the full). This race has some big pluses and some BIG minuses for me.

The pluses: it's a very local race. I'll see all my racing pals from LIRRC and NYRRC, I'll run through home turf, and it is easy for friends and family to come out and cheer. It is also at a good time, early May-- it will be a good "get in shape for tri season" run.

Negatives: the biggest one is that the course is a real drag. About half of it goes up and then down the Wantagh Parkway. This is a long, straight (BORING), wide open (NO SHADE), pretty flat (BORING) stretch of highway. It is all blacktop too (hotter than a fat man's balls in August). It is also a race I've done a bunch of times (FULL=3, HALF=7 times). Part of me would like to do a travel race. (Some of my best running experiences have been trips to do the Chicago Marathon, the LA Marathon, the Cape Cod Marathon and even the rather shitty Buffalo Marathon.) But with work, two little kiddies etc etc etc this will be easier.

My training will start in earnest next week. Typically, I do about a 16 week marathon training cycle. {On a related note, here's a great training schedule from the NYRRC New York Marathon page. I use the Competitive Marathoner schedule which builds from 30 miles per week up to about 50 miles per week at peak. Anyone looking into getting into a marathon will find the beginner schedule very "novice friendly." Give it a go!} Right now, I'm loggin about 25 miles running per week (this is pretty much my base). I'm also getting in a riding day (road or MTB). I want to "stay in touch" with the bike during this marathon training cycle. I also plan to get some more time in the weight room in and to get some swimming in too. The bike, weights, and swim will need to be secondary. I won't use them as real training activities. Mostly, I'll want to maintain technique and strength there so I can transition quickly from run training to the tri.

Speaking of tri. I've been trying to get Freddy-boy to commit to doing a sprint tri this year. {I call this "trying" activity a Fred-athlon. Those of you who know Freddy know how tough getting him to commit to anything--besides sloth and depravity--is.} I'm enticing him with some local duathlons that will then lead him into the very friendly and fun Mighty North Fork Tri. This is a sprint with a calm open water 500 yard swim, 8 mile bike, and a 3.1 run. Freddy is a bit concerned because he screwed up the whole analogy thing. He heard the old cliche "swim like a fish, bike like the wind, run like a cat." But he messed the order up. Currently, he's swimming like a cat (thrashing, mewling, drowning) and running like a fish. No worries. We'll straighten this shit out.