Happy Holiday!

What a magnificent Memorial Day it was. Family always comes first. The wife decide to go on a ride with some Doctor to help get her mind right. Being the nice man that Heywood Jablome is, he offered to take the dogs swimming at the river while Mrs. Jablome was out enjoying the holiday. Water was perfect. Cool, calm, and hopefully free of semen. There was this couple about 100 yards upstream of Wood and the dogs going at it. Now when Wood says going at it, he means going at it. Right there for the entire world to see. So he did what ever self-respecting man should do, watched the whole thing. Who needs DVD’s when you can go to the river and see it live? Sorry Al, no pictures of this.

After the exercise with the dogs, it was now Heywood’s turn to get on the bike. The local bike skills park is where you could find Wood and the gang (Big Cat, Chef, and the German immigrant. $2 was the cost to get into this newly designed park in Folsom CA. There is still much work to be done there but it is off to a good start. With Wall rides, skinnies, and a few very small jumps, these guys where as happy as flies on shit.


The German Immigrant










Big Cat

The Chef

What wet dreams are made of

While living in God’s country for just over three months, Wood has only been aboard his road bike just a handful of times. This normally would be no big deal but Wood’s got plans. He signed up to partake in the Death ride this year. For those of you who are clueless about this ride, it is 128 miles and 15,000+ feet of elevation gain. Heywood is right on pace to get a DNF at this rate.

So Sunday, Heywood had his sight set on exploring some of the beautiful roads surrounding God’s country. With map in hand, Wood was on his way. While climbing the first assent of the day, he encountered an old geezer by the name of Warren. What started off as a pleasant hello turned into a 30 mile love affair with the streams of asphalt road that traverse the countryside. Wood has wet dreams about roads that snake their way through California’s golden hills. These roads are only whispered about in dark alleys. Here was the chance of a lifetime to shut up and learn.

For the next 30 miles, no words were spoken from Heywood’s lips as he sat back and took notes. This old geezer knew all the secrets and he was willing to share his knowledge with a flatlander from S-town. Climbs with names like Baxter Grade, Chili Hill, Bald Hill, and Mt. Vernon kicked the ass of Wood just the way he dreamed of. Up and down, left and right. It is true; heaven does exist here on Earth.

After 30 miles the tour with Warren was over. Wood rode to the Chef’s house. Needed someone to share the newly found knowledge with. So now it was Wood’s turn to take a newbie on a tour of ecstasy lasting about 30 miles. What a day.

Jokes on me

On Friday, Heywood, Big Cat, Lil Cat, and the Chef decided to drive up the boulevard and ride some miles near the crest of the Sierra Nevada mountain range. The trail of choice was “Hole in the Ground” which starts near the summit of Donner Pass. Only question was is this trail physically possible this early on in the year. Usually the answer would be a hell no! But, with the lack of snowfall this year in the California mountains, could be feasible.

So Saturday, while Heywood Jablome was at the bike shop building up a kid’s bike and fine tuning his own steed, he started to ask some people at the shop if they had any input on the situation. "I don't know, maybe," was the consensus until one meek voice spoke up. "Yes, you can do it. I just did it last week. Almost no snow to speak of. You should try it." What the heck Wood thought, that’s a good suggestion. We will attempt it.

Two hours later, the four men were wedged into Wood’s commuter vehicle and headed up the hill to conquer this trail. After driving for one hour we arrived at our destination in high spirits and energized to hit the trail. Things started off well until mile three when the boys encountered our first patch of snow. No big deal. Just a little snow. It was a short hike-a-bike until the next patch of snow. Then the next. Then the next. You get the point. Walk 50 feet, ride 50 feet. This is three miles into the ride and there was still 20 miles left. What the hell. Was that guy at the bike shopping setting us up? That SOB pulled a fast one on the boys from God's country and is probably sitting around some campfire with his friends and family laughing about it right now. Crap.

The only option was to retreat back to the safety of Heywood's gas guzzling SUV and head to another trail. After a quick brainstorm, another trail was chosen and off we were. The new trail was nice, technical and a joy to be on. The elevation killed both the Cat Brothers and Wood but did not seem to affect the Chef. Got in only about 15 miles that day but what an adventure it was.

After the nice ride, we encountered a

Japanese tourist at the trailhead. This guy had a lens on his camera that was as long as my head tube. His family probably invented the camera as we know it. Couldn’t imagine another person more fit to take a picture of us after our ride. Looks like the boys are taking it in the ass once again.