imbroi-AL-ed

Wherein Al comments on Marion Jones.

It's one thing to be a cheating cock like Big Head Barry.

It's a whole other thing to absolutely fuck your team mates like Marion Jones.

I know many of you will argue that they're all dirty, so screw 'em. But let's just sit with this a moment. Imagine for a second that you are a world class runner and you get assigned to this relay as part of the olympic team. Imagine--hard as it may be--that you are a clean, honest competitior. And imagine the 4th leg of your relay turns out to be super studette Marion Jones.

Fast forward a bunch of years and your medals are being stripped from you because that absolute animal that anchored your relay cheated. (Again, someone you were simply assigned to run with.) Maybe I'm simple, but I'm seeing this as plausible. And it sucks.

Li'l somethin' for Marion:

More Cool Shit

With special appearances by Heywood, Moveitfred, and Mrs. Moveitfred:

Whitmore's Day 1/Women's Field

It's all about the call-ups

Whitmore's Day 1

Random Whitmore's Pics

Have you heard this one?: These 3 Belgians walk into a bar wearing red jackets...

"Moveitfred's head tube is about this big, atmo."

Sandy, off-camber, wicked corner of death.


Here's the thing: Meg don't give a shit if the course is taped or not. She's going to kill the off-camber turns regardless.

Some riders get all the fans, atmo.

These guys run up hills.

So do these guys, but they add into the mix huge horsepower on the flats.

option-AL

Al offers a choice...

The other 2 boys have given you quite a bit of content on the Whitmore this weekend in the Hamptons. I thought I’d offer an alternative to all the cyclocross content.

First…big ups to our boy GVB who completed his first marathon!

Next…

This weekend was also the Chicago Marathon. (Al ran the Chicago in 98 in 3:20 and small change.) This great race was hit by a heat wave. And I’m sure you all know that a competitor died. (There’s been a lot said about this tragedy. Al will refrain from talking about proper training and fitness prior to such an event.)

Instead, let’s focus on the amazing first place finishes on the Men’s and Women’s side

A) Here’s what not to do……..

Adriana Pirtea (22 years old and having NEVER run a competitive marathon before) finds herself passing #2, Berhane Adere, and in first place. Adere is having problems from the heat and seems down and out. Pirtea continues to run well in the lead. Then, 1/2 mile from the end, Pirtea decides to Cadillac a bit. She's near the finish and figure that she'sblown by Adere (a seasoned competitor)...she feels she’s got the win. She takes the final turn and starts high fiving, doing the old “look at me, I’m good.” The dumb bitch never looks back. Meanwhile, Adere has gotten her shit together and is pushing her her emaciated ass through one unbelievable final push. Consequently, she dusts Pirtea just yards from the finish. Ni-ice.



B) In the Men’s side, Jaouad Gharib from Moracco and Patrick Ivuti from Kenya had the greatest finish in Chicago marathon history. This was an absolute duel over the last mile and a total photo finish. Ivuti took it by a nose.




Big shout out to the other two boys. Nice work!!!

Whitmore's Cyclocross Day 2/Elite Men

Moveitfred's daughter working the camera over the elite men's field on the log run-up.

Whitmore's Cyclocross Day 2/Elite Women

Compton and Bessette making the sandy corner that ate up Moveitfred look easy.

The WORLD CHAMP!

On October 4th, Heywood Jablome landed on the local landing strip near Fred’s house for a week of family time, sightseeing, and most importantly, racing/watching the Whitmore’s Landscaping Super Cross Cup held in South Hampton on Saturday and Sunday. Such an amazing experience for all who were able to attend this fabulous weekend at the races. Of all the highlights running through Wood’s head, one STICKS out further than the rest.

On Saturday, the three-time world champion Erwin Verveken took 1st place after a tremendous battle with Barry Wicks and Ryan Trebon. Marvelous race! After the awards ceremony, except for a handful of racers, the venue cleared out very quickly as if the Mets just lost their 5th straight home game. Fred and Wood were two of the few remaining because of a dinner date with none other than the talented Meg and her husband JD. But before dinner, the two had to hit the showers (not together).

When entering the locker room, it appeared they were alone except for one person in the shower. Standing next to the showers, Wood and Fred started to disrobe when the curtain was pulled back and out comes the WORLD CHAMPION ERWIN VERVECKEN dripping wet and smelling wonderfully clean, as Fred would later describe him to Wood. And for the record, Wood was not to impressed with what he saw. So with the champ drying off, Heywood jumped into an open shower stall. Apparently, Fred thought this was a wonderful opportunity to congratulate the champ on a spectacular race and thank him for flying to the USA for this race. Erwin, being very humble and polite began to ask Fred about his race. “How did you do,” and “are you pleased with the results,” Erwin said. Yes, the WORLD CHAMPION ERWIN VERVECKEN asking FRED about his race. WOW!

After Heywood was entirely clean, he stepped out of the shower to witness something offensive to the point nausea. As Erwin and Fred were wrapping up the conversion still stripped down to the BONE, Erwin stuck out his hand for a shake. “Friends don’t shake, they hug!” said Fred as he spread his arms apart. With Erwin being from Europe, this didn’t bother him one bit. They approached one another for the hug, body parts freely dangling about. While holding this long embrace, their meat swords where battling it out below the belt. This is the most disgusting gesture Wood has ever seen. Fuck those Europeans are just as strange as the New Yorkers. YUCK!

Heywood retreated to the toilet area to puck his guts out.

Wood waited until all parties were dressed before he said a peep.

Heywood sez:

ATMO!