Very Kool

Today here at the Bicoastal Boys we honor Woody and Al. Two fine Americans who on this day, each, celebrate the birth of their beings into this great country of ours. It is as if they are, indeed, two brothers from different mothers.

Below, gentlemen, is a small gift from Moveitfred.

There's a party goin' on right here

A celebration to last throughout the years

So bring your good times, and your laughter too

We gonna celebrate your party with you

Come on now

Celebrate good times, come on! (Let's celebrate)

Celebrate good times, come on! (Let's celebrate)

Day at the Spa

Heywood checking in.

The day after I made the remark about the lack of precipitation and the superb conditions of the trails, the heavens opened up and dumped about a foot of H2O on the terrain in God’s Country. This made today’s outing a bit more challenging and a whole lot messier. I met up with a local transplant from Long Island in the afternoon to knock out about 12 miles while some cats and dogs where falling from the sky. The transplant (we will call him J) led Heywood on the Foresthill Divide loop trail at quit a fine clip. J is much smarter than he looks. He maneuvered into the lead right from the get go which ended up being a tidy move on his part. Copious amounts of mud flung from his tires only to find my face a short time later. J put the block on Heywood at every opportunity keeping my face in his radar. Mrs. Jablome says a mud facial is good for my aging skin but this is just plain ridiculous. After just over an hour in the elements, Heywood and J finished our ride and headed our separate ways.

Stats

Well, recovery continues for Al. And, since I'm not training this week, I've got a bit of time on my hands. Thought I'd upload some of my pertinent statistics for Jan 07 (someone will have to compute points for me):

• #of times I farted = 7,352
• # of times those farts led to a bowel movement = 64
• #of times I ate fish = 16
• #of times I did not eat fish = 93
• #of times I picked my toes = 128
• #of times I thought about sex = 126,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000
• # of times those farts led to a (partial / unplanned) bowel movement = 4

Over the river and through the woods

While reviewing Heywood’s purpose in life, He came to the conclusion that not much is going on. Most of Wood’s days consist of finding some stretch of uneven single-track to ride, dreaming of some hot little skirt to ride, or filling my throat with the golden liquid from the heavens. But, there is one thing in Woody’s pitiful life that actually contributes to the good of mankind, a search dog.

About 18 months ago, Heywood got some foolish idea to train his hyperactive dog to do something truly remarkable. With the help of a county search and rescue team, Team Heydog started this adventure; unsure what the fuck they were getting themselves into. Now, 614.5 hours later, 25,216 miles of driving came down to one day last week. Team Heydog took our certification test last Friday. The goal, find three victims who are scattered all over 110 acres at some god awful altitude within four hours. During the ordeal, that little shiteater led Wood up 1,000 vertical feet and through 9.16 miles of dense forest. Don’t want to bore you anymore with the details so here is the skinny on it. HEYDOG PASSED!!! Team Heydog is a certified Search and Rescue team. So go get lost.

On another note, the state of the trails is marvelous with the lack of water falling from the sky. The Blur did not have such a high-quality week though. The rubber on the wheel looked like it got run through a shredder. Next, the derailleur hanger had the appearance of a banana after a miscalculation on a jump. Subsequent to dumping some dough to glue this shit together, Heywood was back in business today.

Where do you keep YOUR bitch?

Moveitfred is of the opinion that a cage in a good place for your bitch. Keeps them from whining and making messes all over the house. Just be sure to shut the cage door. And if she's clever, lock it.

Well friends, Jessie the guide dog bitch is back home after two weeks away fucking.

Yes, Jessie is with child(ren). Black Lab Jessie was matched up with a Golden Retriever stud, and those two did the dirty doggie dance for the last coupla weeks over in the controlled and romantic environment of the Guide Dog Foundation kennels. She seems very tired. Of course there is an obvious joke embedded in that observation, but you should know by now that Moveitfred never settles for the obvious joke.

You can prolly tell by the sparkle in the bitch's eyes that she will be a fine momma to her brood. Due date: early April. Family fred just needs to decide if they want the bloody event to take place on the new tiled floor, or if they should ship Jessie off to the foundation...

I entertain by picking brains

Sell my soul by dropping names

I don't like those, my god, what's that

Oh it's full of nasty habits when the bitch gets back

Blaxploitation?

Anyone else bothered by the whole "now more than ever" / "especially now," / celebrating black history month /celebrating 2 african american coaches in the Super Bowl bullshit? I mean, it was just product placement by Coca Cola and Tostitos masquerading as a real social statement. (Of course, that "statement" has reduced black history to who's done what lately.) It was heavy handed and transparent and insulting and annoying. Does this sell product? I hope it just pisses people off.

And here was another bullshit moment: Dungee's about to accept the trophy and the announcer has to drop in "we know it has been an especially hard 14 months for you..." Is that necessary? The poor bastard's son killed himself 14 months ago, so TV shoe-horns that in there to amp up the drama, the story. The fucking guy's wife and daughter are standing there too!

In the words of the great Bela Lugosi, "FUCK YOU!"

Audib-AL

I've been having some troubles as of late: 1) I've been sick as a dog and laid up for the last several days. I expect to be out of training for the rest of this week too. 2) I'm having second thoughts about another marathon right now. Let me explain...

This marathon (for those with # fixation, it is #14 for me and my best prior 26.2 was done in 3:20 and small change) was to be a lead in to my triathlon season. It was a good way to get really fit for the tris I want to do late Spring into Summer. But this cold has knocked me out of commission for the better part of two weeks worth of training. I'm sure I'll be ok in the marathon, but I'll be playing catch up the rest of this cycle. And from the get go, I've been feeling burnt on marathoning. Last year, I discovered triathlon for myself, and I am really amped up for this season. But marathon doesn't move me right now.

Here's what I've decided:
I'm going to finish out this winter season with 4 or so 1/2 marathon races. (The LI Marathon was to be a full but now I'll do the 1/2.) I'll hit the indoor pool more and get more miles in on the bike. In short, I'll start focusing in on tri earlier. This just FEELS right to me. So I'm doing it.

In keeping with this decision, I made a few purchases.



#1 is a Cervelo P2 SL. It's a full aero rig kitted out with a dura ace/ultegra mix. It's the younger cousin of the killer P3 carbon ('cept this guy is aluminum with carbon fork and stays etc. which makes it about $2000 less). I got it from a dude who bought it and rode it 5 times on the trainer before he realized that he jsut isn't built for an aero rig. (Picture silly fat guy with too much cash and a full quiver of other fancy rides.) The bike is essentially brand new, and I got it for far less than I would have new. I actually was ready to buy a new Cervelo Dual Dura Ace. This is a step up and I got it for a bit less. Cool.





#2 is an Aquaman wetsuit. I finished out the season last year with a lake tri in 60 degree temps. Water was high sixties and, needless to say, it took the better part of the day for my nuts to drop down out of my throat. I vowed not to go through that again. Plus, wetsuits make you faster as they improve buoyancy. Cool. (And no, that silly, soft, pasty fucker is not Al and he did not come with the wetsuit. Can you believe it? Aquaman chose this dude for the website. Maybe they're marketing to the everyman, to the same kind of schmuck who bought my P2 firsthand?)

Anyway, Al is geared for tri and amped to boot. Now I just need to get healthy and get going. Anyone ever do the Liberty to Liberty Triathlon? (Statue of Liberty to Liberty Bell.) Thinking of doing this one to start the year. Thoughts?

New Gym Rules

Moveitfred wonders at least once a week why he doesn't just pack it up and move to Amsterdam.

Naked Sunday

NFN