Watch out for that...

Classic cycling moment brought to you by Moveitfred Jr:

Moveitfred and Moveitfred Jr. (six years old and beginning to dig the whole zen/bike thing) are out for a 2 mile spin around the harbor.

Close to home Moveitfred Jr. jumps a curb onto the sidewalk and says, "Hey Moveitfred, watch this!"

"Dude, what are you doing?"

"Watch, just watch..."

WHAM! Straight into a telephone pole.

Moveitfred peels over to admire the yard sale and says, "Dude, what happened?"

Moveitfred Jr. shakes away the pink canaries and says, "Ah man, now THAT wasn't supposed to happen...."

Misc-AL-any

Well, a few bits of flotsam and jetsom to cover folks:

1) AL-ec

Many have complained about Alec Baldwin's rant on his daughter's voicemail. Well, we've just now heard the explanation. Baldwin was running lines for a reprise of his award winning character, Blake, in the upcoming sequel "Glengarry Glen Ross 2: Shelley Levene Strikes Back."

And remember, Coffee is for closers, you fucks.



2) Giuliani the Jackass: In the wake of Giuliani's ludicrous vote for me or die here's Keith Olbermann kicking Rudy's ass from here to Iraq and back.

3) And since I don't want to veer completely away from the sporting life, here's a little something from The Onion:
NEWPORT, RI–Some rich guy came in first Monday in that big, famous yacht race held every year at the Newport Yacht Club, a big, fancy yacht place with "a whole lot of really expensive-looking boats and shit," sources reported.

Trivi-AL Pursuits

Well, another training update here. Whoop-dee-fucking-doo, right? Anyway, the Als did a nine-er this morning before heading into the factory. Nice run. We warmed up with a mile at 9 and then trimmed down to low 8s for the remainder.


Dismiss-AL

Your hero, Al Bangorhard, pulled a fast one and slipped out of work today. (Yes, this is after coming in late due to my long run.) I dismissed myself and headed to Shea. Where I spent 6 innings swallowing as much as I could (beer that is). Then I headed home thinking, " a bad day at Shea is better than a good day at work."

Land of the Vines

A strange occurrence happened here in Auburn, California this last few days. For some unexplained reason, a storm veered off tract and instead of slamming into the North Eastern States as usual, it passed right through Northern California. What the hell. This is April. We rarely get rain here in God's country and never in April. Temps should be in the upper 80's by now. So as expected after a gully washer, the trails were muddy as heck.

Sunday was the 17th running of the Napa Valley Dirt Classic mountain bike race and Heywood's first. Big Cat, Heywood, and The Cook made the two hour drive through a torrential downpour in the wife's gas guzzling SUV to the town of Angwin, just a stones throw from Napa. Upon our arrival we found nothing but beautiful rays from the sun shinning on the muddy trails. These conditions were going to make for a delightful race. This race draws a large crowd and even a few pro's like Mark Weir to name a few.

So with the firing of the gun, the race was off to a fast pace. Started with a few muddy climbs that were rideable and then the WALL came into Wood's view. This short steep hill was most likely walked by all racers on the course this year. Once atop the hill it was back on the bicycle for some fast, muddy terrain. Trying to stay upright was made very difficult due to all the mud that accumulated on the tires. While on one of the early descents, Wood took a nasty crash on a gradual left-hand bender. Not very technical, just unable to get any traction until I hit the large stump just off the trail. No worries, still riding. There was some of the most beautiful single track that I have ridden for the next few miles. Lots of turns, tight, ups and downs. Just amazing until.... the big climb.

Now Heywood does not have one of those computer things on his bike. You know, the kind that show you how far the bike has traveled. So at about mile 15, came this climb that has to be longest, steepest, longest climb Heywood has seen while aboard a mountain bike. It just keep going. Right when you thought it was over, you turned a corner and it got steeper. Never seen so many people pushing there bikes up a hill. Wood tried to stay on top of his bicycle as much as possible but had to walk a few spots. The mud made it even more difficult than this climb should have been. Believe the climb lasted about 4-5 miles before finally leveling off. From there, just a sprint to the finish.

So with a time clocked at just under a day, Heywood Jablome crossed the finish line. Was he first? Nope. But he did set a personal best time. More importantly, Wood beat the guy on the unicycle. Thank God. Will do this race next year fo sho.

Lessons learned:
1. Use tires more suited for mud when riding in mud.
2. Don't use brand new cycling shoes for the first time during a race.
3. If you do violate lesson number 2 (above), bring mole skin for the blisters.
4. Don't drink a 40 before the race.

Fred Dualey

Hang down your head, Fred Dualey
Hang down your head and cry
Hang down your head, Fred Dualey
Poor boy, you're bound to die

Moveitfred squeezed in a dualey today by:
a) Running one mile with the daughter this a.m.
b) Transitioning onto the bike for a hard two hours with multiple hill repeats
c) Lacing back up the sneaks for an easy three

Moveitfred spent what was left of the day sprawled out on the soccer sidelines watching his kids boot the little white ball and getting the top of his melon burned to an even red.

Makes Moveitfred feel like singin'.