So anyway

the mail just came and nothing.



Moveitfred turns 63 years old today and not one of you cocksuckers got him anything from his wish list?



Hang your heads in shame.



Ok, fine, screw you.



Moveitfred is simply going to leave and go party with the babes waiting in the limo outside. All of you just have yourselves a fine fucking day.

avow-AL

Al Gives An Oath To His Friends and Compatriots

Fellow competitors, athletes, countrymen, blog-fags, I make to you this solemn vow:

1 When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you that way.

2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever the fuck is choking you.

3. When you smile -- I will know you finally got laid.

4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get.

5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.

6. When you are confused -- I will use little words.

7. When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want to catch whatever you have.

8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.

9. This is my oath..... I pledge it to the end. "Why?" you may ask?, "Because you are my friend".

And remember my friends...when life deals you lemons, get a bottle of tequila and call me. I'll bring the salt.

Yours,
AL

Regrettab-AL

Our Hero, ABH, Gets Negged in the NYC Marathon Lottery and Must Now Find Another Late Fall Marathon


So Long NYC:

Inform-AL

Results are in

Al's official time= 2:52.52
Al's Overall place: 83rd out of about 300 individual entries and 50-60 relays
Al's age group place: 15th (Kind of psyched about this one)

Of note: 1) Swim splits were all slow. Fastest swim was about 24 minutes...the course change made the swim longer. 2) I will not forget the Body Glide next time.

Away they go

While those boys on east coast were on the road to recovery from a laborious “work trip”, Heywood was hitching a ride with Big Cat in his new Toyota 4runner up to Downieville. This sierra town sits along the banks of the Yuba River with an elevation of just below 3000 feet. For mountain bikers like Heywood Jablome and Big Cat, who do not enjoy climbing 5000 feet on the bike just to start an adventurous 17 mile downhill trip, a shuttle service comes in handy. For a small fee of $15, one can hitch a ride to the trailhead at over 7000 feet, just a few short miles from the Sierra Buttes. The last shuttle of the day was getting ready to head out just as they were pulling into town. Heywood was able to talk the driver into waiting around for five minutes while they got there shit together.

When the two arrived at the summit, they cracked open a silver bullet and slammed it like a couple of freshman college students from Chico. Big Cat says this helps calm his nerves. He tends to get scared easily. Time for a quick picture, don the safety equipment and it was off to the races. The conditions were better than Heywood could dream of for his first time up there. Due to the previous days dusting of snow, the ground was tacky and free of dust. There was no worry of the tires breaking loose on a high speed turn so the boys pushed the envelope. Heywood was lucky that Mrs. Jablome allowed him to bring his balls along for the day so he planned on using them.

Some stretches of the trail are tight and technical; others are wide open and very fast. One rock garden is thrown into the mix for good measure. Loud screams of ecstasy could be heard for miles as these two men raced down the mountain like kids with no fear. Flat tires were a problem on this day. Big Cat had one and Heywood got two. The difficult part is not changing the tire. It is fighting back the swarms of mosquitoes that appear that minute you stop. After the ride, Big Cat started to teach Heywood about the secret fishing holes he discovered in Downieville on previous trips.

Apparently, this area is some gathering site for the gay population. At one point, Heywood turned the corner to find a man lying down singing some old J.R. Cash tunes aloud. One can only assume this man visits the Hershey highway by looking at this picture.

This truck was kind enough to put down a trail of shit along the highway so Wood could find his way back when he comes alone.