Sunday, June 10, 2007

Away they go

While those boys on east coast were on the road to recovery from a laborious “work trip”, Heywood was hitching a ride with Big Cat in his new Toyota 4runner up to Downieville. This sierra town sits along the banks of the Yuba River with an elevation of just below 3000 feet. For mountain bikers like Heywood Jablome and Big Cat, who do not enjoy climbing 5000 feet on the bike just to start an adventurous 17 mile downhill trip, a shuttle service comes in handy. For a small fee of $15, one can hitch a ride to the trailhead at over 7000 feet, just a few short miles from the Sierra Buttes. The last shuttle of the day was getting ready to head out just as they were pulling into town. Heywood was able to talk the driver into waiting around for five minutes while they got there shit together.

When the two arrived at the summit, they cracked open a silver bullet and slammed it like a couple of freshman college students from Chico. Big Cat says this helps calm his nerves. He tends to get scared easily. Time for a quick picture, don the safety equipment and it was off to the races. The conditions were better than Heywood could dream of for his first time up there. Due to the previous days dusting of snow, the ground was tacky and free of dust. There was no worry of the tires breaking loose on a high speed turn so the boys pushed the envelope. Heywood was lucky that Mrs. Jablome allowed him to bring his balls along for the day so he planned on using them.

Some stretches of the trail are tight and technical; others are wide open and very fast. One rock garden is thrown into the mix for good measure. Loud screams of ecstasy could be heard for miles as these two men raced down the mountain like kids with no fear. Flat tires were a problem on this day. Big Cat had one and Heywood got two. The difficult part is not changing the tire. It is fighting back the swarms of mosquitoes that appear that minute you stop. After the ride, Big Cat started to teach Heywood about the secret fishing holes he discovered in Downieville on previous trips.

Apparently, this area is some gathering site for the gay population. At one point, Heywood turned the corner to find a man lying down singing some old J.R. Cash tunes aloud. One can only assume this man visits the Hershey highway by looking at this picture.

This truck was kind enough to put down a trail of shit along the highway so Wood could find his way back when he comes alone.

10 comments:

Johnny Applebag said...

Fuck you, that lounging cowboy is my friend.

Hugh G. Balls said...

NICE! Looks like a cool ride. Next time, punch a hole in the Silver Bullet and make it a shotgun like a real frat boy would.

Anonymous said...

Snag any trout?

Anonymous said...

What is it with you west coasters and the hillbilly music?

If it's that important to y'all, why don't you just move to West Virgina and get it over with?

Anonymous said...

And while Moveitfred is asking questions, why is it that Johnny and Hugh always post at about the same time?

Is it just Moveitfred, or is something going on there?

Heywood Jablome said...

Hugh is balls deep on Johnny's applebag.

Heywood Jablome said...

One big natural raibow trout Fred

Anonymous said...

Moveitfred understands Rainbow season just opened out there in Cali.

Anonymous said...

Moveitfred,

You bring up a good point. Why are multiple user names posting at the same time? This sounds like a job for our statistition friend Al.

Al - I think it would be useful if you would note all the times that everyone posts comments, paying close attention to PST/EST time zones and plot them on a bar graph using GMT for the X axis and the Blogger name for the Y axis.

Then, match the bianary codes and IP addresses and if you find any similarities, EXPOSE them.

Once you've rendered the graph, please post a jpeg in 300/dpi for us to view.

To think...this blog could just be one big schizophrenic orgy. It's really just Mr. Heywood Moveitfred Meg Solo Hugh Jonny Jablome, depending on what MPD he/she is in at the momment.

As always, looking forward to the results.

Anonymous said...

Al has told Moveitfred about schizophrenic orgies.

Apparently Al used to drop some Culture Club or Duran Duran on the turntable, distribute bowls of the nose candy, and bust open these hoodangs all the time at his hamptons estate in the 1980's.

Oh, how the mighty have fallen.