What wet dreams are made of

While living in God’s country for just over three months, Wood has only been aboard his road bike just a handful of times. This normally would be no big deal but Wood’s got plans. He signed up to partake in the Death ride this year. For those of you who are clueless about this ride, it is 128 miles and 15,000+ feet of elevation gain. Heywood is right on pace to get a DNF at this rate.

So Sunday, Heywood had his sight set on exploring some of the beautiful roads surrounding God’s country. With map in hand, Wood was on his way. While climbing the first assent of the day, he encountered an old geezer by the name of Warren. What started off as a pleasant hello turned into a 30 mile love affair with the streams of asphalt road that traverse the countryside. Wood has wet dreams about roads that snake their way through California’s golden hills. These roads are only whispered about in dark alleys. Here was the chance of a lifetime to shut up and learn.

For the next 30 miles, no words were spoken from Heywood’s lips as he sat back and took notes. This old geezer knew all the secrets and he was willing to share his knowledge with a flatlander from S-town. Climbs with names like Baxter Grade, Chili Hill, Bald Hill, and Mt. Vernon kicked the ass of Wood just the way he dreamed of. Up and down, left and right. It is true; heaven does exist here on Earth.

After 30 miles the tour with Warren was over. Wood rode to the Chef’s house. Needed someone to share the newly found knowledge with. So now it was Wood’s turn to take a newbie on a tour of ecstasy lasting about 30 miles. What a day.