bronchi-AL

Al endures...

This AM brooks and I went down to the State Park for the LIRRC 10 miler. It was COLD!!! and WINDY!!! this early am. Temps were hovering at 30. Winds were gusty as hell. Wind chill had it near 5 degrees. Fahk!

I had wanted to run 7:30s. I ran 7:50s instead. I had some weirdness happen to me, and it freaked me out more than just a little. I was having these weird asthmatic-like wheeze attacks during the very open/windy sections of the run. The cold wind would tear into me, and I just could not breathe. I wheezed my way through those sections, feeling like I was drawing air through a straw. It sucked. My chest felt like it was spasming until a good hour or two post-race.

After I got home, I was ok. I got down to Tyvek-ing the exterior where the new doors and windows went in. Then I cam in and insulated the new walls. Much fun. we're coming along. And now, a little something for Fred (who is still contemplating activity). Oh and thanks to GVB for turning me on to this...

IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT!

Al and Fred are pleased to announce:


AL AND FRED'S 1ST ANNUAL NORTH SHORE UNDERGROUND DUATHLON!



WHEN: SATURDAY, MAY 10, 9 a.m.


WHERE: WEST MEADOW BEACH PARKING LOT, SETAUKET, NEW YORK



WHAT: 2 mile run / 12.5 mile bike / 2 mile run.





WHY: TO GET YOUR FAT ASS IN SHAPE BEFORE SUMMER.






WHO: BY INVITATION ONLY. ALL OTHERS WILL BE TAUNTED AND SHUNNED.


ENTRY FEE: ZERO.





Your pals Al and Fred are bringing to you a new concept in USA duathlon events. There is no entry fee, no waivers to sign, this is not for a cause, there will be no race numbers, course marshals or official timing. This is simply a bunch of people getting together and putting the hurt down on a Saturday morning. There will be a languid sense of organization to the whole affair. The truth is, it's not that difficult. You run, you ride your bike, you run again. If you know how to change your shoes you can probably wrap your brain around the complexity of this event.


The winner will get to pile into his/her car before everyone else and go home. 2nd place will get to do this next, 3rd after those two. Or stay at the beach, eat sandwiches, and drink. Al and Fred really don't care what you do. Just don't complain about the lack of organization, the fact that the bathrooms are locked, or "the pissy attitude" of "those two assholes" who put this whole thing together.


Some details (what little we know or care about at this point):

• Both runs will be from the West Meadow Beach parking lot out to the end of Trustee's Road and back to the lot. That's about two miles for each run. You run AROUND the outside of the circle at the end of the road--these aren't suicides where you touch the end of the road with your foot and turn around.





• When you get back to the lot from your first run you need to do whatever it is you need to do to be happy and comfortable on your bicycle (hardcore dualie-men call this the "transition zone"). You can do this in your car, under a towel, or out in the open. Al and Fred don't really care what you do.




• The bike portion is basically this (for those of you who know the area): from the West Meadow lot go out to the tennis courts and turn left, up and over Mount Grey Road and turn left at Old Field Road, bust your ass out to the end (lighthouse), return on Old Field Road all the way to the post office, turn right past the Neighborhood House and turn right on Christian Ave, ride over the rolling hills down into Stony Brook Village, turn around down at the Stony Brook Yacht Club, come back up out of the village on Hollow Road, turn left on Cedar, right on Woodbine, and right on Christian, then turn left on Quaker to Mount Grey and get your slow ass back to the beach. Here's a link to the route: http://www.gmap-pedometer.com/?r=1681148





• Change back into your running attire and get yourself out to the end of Trustee's Road and back again. Touch the chainlink fence at the parking lot. You're done.

• Invitation: If Al or Fred contact you and say you can do it, you're invited. If you contact Al or Fred and either one gets back to you and says you can do it, you're invited. If Al and Fred ignore you, you do not fit in and you are not invited. Sorry, but this is like high school parties--there are the cool people who get invited, and then there is everybody else.





• Liability: if you get yourself killed by some Three Village parent screaming down the road because his/her kids are late for soccer practice, don't come crying to Al or Fred. We don't care and don't want to hear your whining. THIS COURSE IS NOT CLOSED TO TRAFFIC. THERE ARE NO CROSSING GUARDS. WATCH YOUR TURNS. WEAR YOUR HELMET.





• Cheaters: do us a favor and watch some Animal Planet this weekend. See how the pack treats those who don't fit in? Lots of nipping and bloody fur, right? That's what you can expect.

• Despite what you've read so far, we're hoping lots of people come out and have a good time. Bring the kids. We're thinking/hoping there will be enough non-competitor members of the families around so that the kids can hang out at the beach with supervision and then we all come together when the pain is over for more eats and beach fun.
  
  
  

Bottom line is this, isn't it about time you got off your ass and got in shape? Summer's almost here. Do you want to look like this?

or this?


You decide. (And look, nobody said this thing was going to be P.C. or non-threatening or a bundle of loving goodness).

If you have a stupid question you can email Fred at: moveitfred at yahoo dot com. He might get back to you. (And, yes, Al and Fred are not our real names. See, truthfully this event "isn't happening." Know what we mean? Keep it secret, on the down-low, dig? If it's that important to you that you know who we really are you probably don't want to do this. Trust us).

port-AL

Today Al endured a fucking DELUGE and installed the triple panel slider and a triple panel casement at the back of his house. Both window and door were delivered at 7 AM. I considered calling an audible and letting the project wait until tomorrow, but both door and window are unfinished wood. I just did not want to risk letting them sit out in the rain. So it was TO WORK:

Before





During:




After:





The job went very smoothly. There was some waiting around during absolute biblical downpours. But other than that...smooth. Tomorrow I've got to Tyvek and rigid board insulate the exterior where I cut down the old siding. I've also got insulation, sheetrock, and electrical work to do inside. (Not to mention molding, spackling, painting etc etc etc) But I don't think all that will happen tomorrow.

Tomorrow morning is the LIRRC 10 miler. I plan to run it with Brooksy. I'm feeling rather battered. But I'll do what I can.

xoxoxoxoxoxox

fow-AL

Al calls foul on a fat golfing fuck:

ORLANDO, Fla. (AP)—PGA Tour golfer Tripp Isenhour was charged with killing a hawk on purpose with a golf shot because it was making noise as he videotaped a TV show

Isenhour was with a film crew for “Shoot Like A Pro” on Dec. 12 at the Grand Cypress Golf course. The 39-year-old golfer, whose real name is John Henry Isenhour III, was charged Wednesday with cruelty to animals and killing a migratory bird.

The charges carry a maximum penalty of 14 months in jail and $1,500 in fines.

According to court documents, Isenhour got upset when a red-shouldered hawk began making noise, forcing another take. He began hitting balls at the bird, then 300 yards away, but gave up.

Isenhour started again when the hawk moved within about 75 yards, Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission officer Brian Baine indicated in a report.

Isenhour allegedly said “I’ll get him now,” and aimed for the hawk.

“About the sixth ball came very near the bird’s head, and (Isenhour) was very excited that it was so close,” Baine wrote.

A few shots later, witnesses said he hit the hawk. The bird, protected as a migratory species, fell to the ground bleeding from both nostrils.

Let's start with a simple premise: golf is not a sport. It is a pastime, one that is enjoyed by fat, obnoxious fucks. Here's just one more example of why these assholes should smacked upside the head repeatedly. These douchebags should spend there time playing with their balls and leave the fucking wildlife alone. Can't you just hear the asshole? "The audacity. A bird on my course."

Anyway, al just want to say fuck you to Drippy Isehole.

In other news, Al is racing a 10 this weekend with his buddy Brooksy. Brooks is a fellow triathlete who is looking to do his first 1/2 marathon in May.

Brooks and Al have been rapping about all the interesting bi action happening in Spring and, wouldn't you know it, ole Fred is interested. (Just say "bi" and Fred's ears perk up.) Freddy boy is threatening to plod through a du. We shall see.

Al also wants to tell you about one of his favorite workouts:

I run from my house the 2 miles to the Y. Then I do 2 miles on the indoor track--upstairs over the Bball courts. Then I run home. I love this course cause I get to feel like Prefontaine for a little while.



I get this feeling screaming around this tiny fucking track. It is one of those little indoor Habitrails where 18 laps = a mile. The course is always cluttered with old fat fucks in denim waddling through a 1/4 mile or so. (Now tell me this...why do these fucks always walk in denim? Don't that hurt? They got thighs galore--all of them. Don't they chafe?) Anyway, try running an 8 minute past a group of fogies on a track that size.


Powerful, baby.

Gotta Get Off My Ass, Yo

Dammit.

Al and Wood getting armfulls of girlie jeans, doing up the town, remodeling, busting out the kicks for runs, tearing apart the trails.

Slovenly Moveitfred sitting around the house and eating. 'Bout the only action Moveitfred has gotten lately:

You asked for it?

As per the request of another bicoastal boy, here are some pictures of the ladies from Rock Racing.

For me, the jury is still out on the whole Rock Racing team/concept. First off, this team is so freaking flamboyant, covered in all that bling and crap with nothing to show for it. They arrived in Modesto for the start of stage 3 of the Amgen Tour of California with the biggest diesel pusher I have ever laid eyes on. Shinny black paint with a HUGE green Rock Racing logo on both sides. This bus was pimped out like Paul Wall’s grill. Following the bus was a Cadillac Escalade and a Bentley. Most teams have a Subaru or the like for a team car put these guys are rolling an Escalade and a Bentley.

Then there are the riders. Mike Ball will hire anyone who has name recognition, no matter what their story is. I understand they are currently trying to recruit The Chicken, Vin, Jan, and anyone else who has admitted to doing drugs because they need another chance. Too bad Landis is not for hire for a few more months. And then there is Cipo. The guy is a legend and all but he is the same age as Moveitfred. Come on.

Lastly, the R&R girls and entourage who I must say are looking pretty fine if you ask me (the girls that is). Boobs and ass all over the place covered up only by some overpriced jeans and shirts (the girls that is). The entourage decked out in black suits all for a bike race? I thought Puff Daddy was going to hop out of the Bentley.

Is this truly a positive representation of bike racing? RR was selling cotton t-shirts with a Rock Racing insignia on the front for $38. What is more surprising to me is that people were buying that shit. I guess it is not what I want to see, it is what the fans want. And let me tell ya, the people were surrounding the caravan of RR vehicles. Reminds me of the Disco bus last couple of years. Maybe this is what cycling needs in America. The fans seemed to be eating it up. Could this be a welcome shot of EPO for cycling, boosting fan fare after a couple of lousy years dealing with international cheats?

Like it or not, Mr. Ball is a genius. Now thousands more know about Rock & Republic than three months ago. His companies name is plastered all over the place in VeloNews and any other cycling publication, not to mention the TV time it got during the Tour of Cali. Lots of cyclists have money and I am sure they will drop some coin on the overpriced Levi’s. Fred, Al, where are your jeans?

dismant-AL & assemb-AL

Al had his hands full this weekend. Our new home has been a project and a half. The latest project is a kitchen re-do which includes removing a wall between kitchen and dining room. Here's Al in the process:



Here's a pic of the wall gone:


The project will include removing the old windows and door on the kitchen wall to my right in pic's. Those will be replaced by a triple panel french door (outswing type). Those old windows in the dining room will come out and that whole back wall in dining room will be large casement windows. Outside will be a deck (backing kitchen and dine). Just beneath where Al is working on the ladder here (the transition between kitchen and dine) Al is building a big island.

I also began my training program for the LI 1/2 this weekend. Did a 9 with Al K and another running/tri buddy, Brooks. The 3 boys ran in the snow for a nice 9er. We went along at about 9 minute pace. It was a nice run, but slow and treacherous because of the snow/ice. Still, it was good to get out beyond 5-6 miles again. It's been a couple of months since I've gone beyond 6.

Tonight I've got a basement biathlon on tap: 4 miles on the tread/one hour on the spin. I've got 30 days of Night lined up for the workout flick...spooky!

In Style

On Tuesday, Heywood made the trek down to the flatlands of Sacramento to witness the finish of stage 2 of the Amgen Tour of California. He was accompanied by his wife, son, the Chef, and Big Cat during that rainy cold afternoon. The moisture in the air did not frighten off thousands of spectators meandering about the event expo while waiting the arrival of the racers. All the reps where there, explaining why their shit is better than the stuff in the adjoining tent. Free samples of energy drinks and stickers were passed out to all who had an open hand. Three jumbo televisions displayed the race with live feed while everyone got there cycling fix. Very nice venue.

While Heywood’s family and friends were walking about trying to establish the most strategic position to observe the last few laps around the capital and final sprint, he snuck off to the capital building to visit one of his friends at the State Capital building who just happens to be a State Assemblyman. It just so happens that this politician also had some complimentary passes to the VIP hospitality tent adjacent to the finish line. Unfortunately, there was not enough passes for everyone Wood came with. Decisions, decisions.

When Wood returned to the finish area where his friends were eagerly awaiting his return, he did what any good friend would do given this situation….. Told his friends he would call them later and let them know how it was rubbing elbows with California’s movers and shakers.

This is the ultimate way to watch a bicycle race. Free booze, petite attractive waitresses prancing about giving out stuffed mushrooms and lots of other tasty crap and seven flat screens HDTV’s surrounded Wood. Freaking awesome. And the race was great too! Tom Boonen pulled off and amazing finish from way back. Wow!

The Chef and Big Cat are out there somewhere.

Free booze!

committ-AL

Well folks, I've now committed myself to a series of Tris for the 08 season. The plan is to actually begin the season with a 1/2 marathon. I'll do the Long Island 1/2 in early May. I'll follow this with a series of Sprint tris in Late May, June, July, and August. Then in Spetember I have an Olympic tri. I'll do one more tri in Late September or early October if I do not get into the NYC Marathon (again) this year. If I get in, it's right into Marathon training.

Here's the rundown:

The Long Island 1/2 on 5/4

The Ironclad Sprint Triathlon on 5/24...BRRRRRRR!

The Gold Coast Tr on 6/15

The Mighty North Fork Tri on 7/13

The SBR Harriman State Park Tri on 8/16

The Mighty Hamptons Tri on 9/14

After that, we shall see. I considered doing a 1/2 Ironman Tri at season's end. I think I'll wait and see how the early races go before making a decision on that one.

Some might say that this is an audacious plan. But i know I've got Jesus on my side. And you don't fuck with the Jesus.

Fred on work