These last few weeks have been an absolute waste of time for Heywood with regards to cycling. This last week has been the worst. Heywood found himself at work Monday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. That adds up to 120 hours at work this week. Monday was for a little extra spending cash for Mrs. Jablome while Saturday and Sunday were shift trades with another factory worker.
For Wood’s two days at home, he was hoping to spend copious amount of time atop his two-wheeled machine while ascending the mountains of God’s country. As with most of Wood’s well designed plans, shit happens. Tuesday morning started out as a glorious day with an abundance of rays from the local star shinning upon the hills. The plan, Big Cat was coming over to Heywood’s casa to pick him up and then the two of them shall drive to the brand new mountain bike skills course in the City off Folsom. This park has it all: three different elevated skinnies to ride, jump park, rhythm section and much more. Heywood and Big Cat were going to tear it up like two kids with not a worry in the world. Afterwards, the two riders were going to pick up the Chef and hit the trails for a short 25 mile ride. As Big Cat was driving down Wood’s driveway, the phone began to ring loudly. “Hello.” Shit. Someone in this great state of California was lost and a request was made for Heywood and his dog to join the other dog teams and locate the lost individual. Sorry Big Cat, ride is off for this day. So away we went. After a long afternoon and night, the lost person was found, not by Wood, but found none the less.
So Wednesday found Wood and the Chef on the road bike for about 45 miles. The two gained a few thousand feet while climbing to the town of Colfax just up the road. Traffic was light and the sun was bright. Heywood was just happy to get out on the bike for the first time this week. Thursday was back to the grind for the next four days. Please, let us all pray together that more time will be available next week for riding an
d contributing this blog.
The Wednesday day ride was supposed to include Big Cat but he was unable to attend due to the fact that his wife’s water broke. The flood gates were wide open and it was time to take her to the hospital. 30 hours later, Big Cat was the proud father of a little pussy cat. Congrats.
These first few days at work have been very busy for Wood. Wood imagines that this is what it feels like to get bent over and punished. Please, do
n’t ever let the boys go to prison.
For Wood’s two days at home, he was hoping to spend copious amount of time atop his two-wheeled machine while ascending the mountains of God’s country. As with most of Wood’s well designed plans, shit happens. Tuesday morning started out as a glorious day with an abundance of rays from the local star shinning upon the hills. The plan, Big Cat was coming over to Heywood’s casa to pick him up and then the two of them shall drive to the brand new mountain bike skills course in the City off Folsom. This park has it all: three different elevated skinnies to ride, jump park, rhythm section and much more. Heywood and Big Cat were going to tear it up like two kids with not a worry in the world. Afterwards, the two riders were going to pick up the Chef and hit the trails for a short 25 mile ride. As Big Cat was driving down Wood’s driveway, the phone began to ring loudly. “Hello.” Shit. Someone in this great state of California was lost and a request was made for Heywood and his dog to join the other dog teams and locate the lost individual. Sorry Big Cat, ride is off for this day. So away we went. After a long afternoon and night, the lost person was found, not by Wood, but found none the less.
So Wednesday found Wood and the Chef on the road bike for about 45 miles. The two gained a few thousand feet while climbing to the town of Colfax just up the road. Traffic was light and the sun was bright. Heywood was just happy to get out on the bike for the first time this week. Thursday was back to the grind for the next four days. Please, let us all pray together that more time will be available next week for riding an
d contributing this blog.The Wednesday day ride was supposed to include Big Cat but he was unable to attend due to the fact that his wife’s water broke. The flood gates were wide open and it was time to take her to the hospital. 30 hours later, Big Cat was the proud father of a little pussy cat. Congrats.
These first few days at work have been very busy for Wood. Wood imagines that this is what it feels like to get bent over and punished. Please, do
n’t ever let the boys go to prison.
6 comments:
Welcome back, brother. Welcome back
Wood:
Couple questions...
1) When you remove a log of that size from someone's ass, do you consider which way the grain is running? It seems like pulling something like that out against the grain could leave splinters, no?
2)When some poor, lost soul fouls up your ride day, do you ever think things like this: I hope you DIE! I hope I find you strewn across a mile of trail, your innards dragged about and partially chewed by a mountain lion. And I hope he's eaten your balls first. I want you DEAD, DEAD, DEAD, and I'm going to let my dog lap at your ripped open chest cavity. ? Just curious.
{I've just given myself something of a chubby.}
Wait a minute! Heywood, Did I read that correctly? You worked FIVE days in one week? Might I suggest you get on the phone with your local labor board and report your factory!
This weekend was the Bisexual, Gay, Lesbian, Transgender and BiCoastal parade in the LBC. Mom and I were driving to Home Depot and almost accidently drove into it. Disco Dodge was almost a part of the parade!
Hugh,
Never really thought about the correct way to pull out a Louisville slugger out of someone’s ass. What would the right way be? Don’t think this happens enough for some doctor to come up with the correct procedure and name. Just rip it out. What would you call it anyway? Ass restoration? May leave a few splinters but it beats the alternative. Just hope there is not too much shit on the log. As far as finding a lost guy. Right when that call came in I was wondering how the hell all these people get lost. I go on walks everyday to get away from the Mrs. nagging the shit out of me about doing something other than riding my bike. I never get lost. Is that because I have taken a proactive roll by placing a sign on my back with my address on it with large bold letters saying TAKE THIS DOPE HOME? If I do end up lost someday, I will be sure to coat my nuts with a foul deterrent like fumunda cheese so no search dog in licking at them.
you call walking in the woods with your dog work?
i am so moving to california. . .
My door is always open for you Meg. Mrs. Jablome will just have to get over it and find another place to live.
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