Thursday, September 20, 2007

Nearly Sweet Revenge

So Moveitfred is on the bicycle commute home from the factory (setting).

He is pulling off his best track stand on the Zank in the left turn lane waiting for traffic to clear (more setting).

Suddenly, from ahead, Vinnie and the Douchebags came squealing at Moveitfred with their POS riceburner on full gas, windows down, barking and drooling obscenities at our hero (inciting incident).


BwaaaaaDaaaaaaaFuckinBrwaaaaaaaaaaaaaAssholeMuthaaaaaaaaaabwaaaaaaaaaaaaa! (colorful detail) .

Amid the commotion Moveitfred unclipped and dabbed a foot down, all the while wishing he hadn't left his Glock on the kitchen table at home (rising action).

But what Vinnie and his douchey friends didn't notice was the red light and stopped traffic rapidly approaching their front grill (more rising action).

The sound of rubber burning pavement began, and Moveitfred turned around to see a full foot-to-the-floor panic fishtail stop. Vinnie ceased forward motion on his POS not more than two inches from the blue sedan in front (climax).

Of course it's inevitable that if contact had occurred there would have been kids in the back seat of the sedan, but hopefully the carload of Scrotal Douchbaggery got a little rattle in the brain from the whole experience (tag/moral).

In other news:

Moveitfred is all reg'd up for some cross in The Garden State this weekend followed by The Two Days of Verveken on Long Guyland followed by some Po-Dunk race up in Mass. Then, who the fahk knows. Woodrow is flying his ass out all the way from Cali to share space with Erwin on LI. Woody is bringing his A+ game so as not to disrespect the course before the big show.

Piece Out

12 comments:

solobreak said...

Seriously Fred, do you expect me to believe that without a photo in your hand you'd even recognize Erwin if he were blowing in your ear?

Name 10 other euro cross pros real quick without looking at cyclingnews...

Yeah, I didn't think so.

Anonymous said...

Solo-

Go take your meds.

They're in the cabinet next to the fridge.

Just because road season ended don't mean you should get off the program.

Doctor Fred says.

megA said...

I GET TO MEET WOODY??????????

Does Mrs. Wood know about this?

Shall we all dine at chez fancy pants restaurant owed by Myles and Myles's wife ??

Reservations are going fast. . .

xo
m

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