inconsolab-AL

"Oh Heywood, Heywood, wherefore art thou Heywood?"

Al, saddened by the loss of his amigo, Heywood, asks the ever important question:

GOT WOOD?!!!!

Commute

Mrs. Moveitfred has got the yearnin' to commute to work on a regular basis, so Moveitfred and the Mrs. went on a venturous exploration of routefinding this morning to find the way to go and back. After unceremoniously dropping the kids off at the neighbor's house for pancakes and cartoons, the freds were off. Chilly, chilly morning with some lingering showers moving through, but after a warmup it was simply lovely, y'all.

Mrs. Moveitfred is lucky in that her route to work takes in some of the most scenic roads in the area. She starts by skirting by our millpond and then heads through some rolling hills into Stony Brook Village.


From there it's a right turn past another pond and grist mill and through the rolling harbor hills where, after about 5 miles of the best cycling road on Long Island, the road dumps out into Smithtown. From there some roundabout skirting through your standard-issue, middle-class, Scott's turfbuilder neighborhoods and the Mrs. is at work. The freddys flipped a Uie and headed for home with a quick stop for some joe at the Stony Brook pear.

The Mrs. is amplituded up over the route and is planning the full-blown dive into the cyclo-commute next week.

1989 Party

Moveitfred don't know shit about what's going on in Malibu right now, but he does know that this here weren't no fahking circus sideshow.

This is all about a bunch of guys doing 90k down a mt in the rain in order to wear a colored jersey.

Both the bikes and balls were steel in those days.

WithdrawAls

This morning Moveitfred got himself all amped up on Fourbucks and headed down to the south shore of our little island paradise to bang out a ride with Al Keholic



and Al Bangorhard.



What a couple of characters those guys are, showing up for a bicycle ride in nerd wear and skirts. Oh well, Moveitfred has as big a sense of humor as anyone and, despite being revolted and embarrassed, he laughed along with the gang and lead out the ride from the House of Kreb.

An all around good ride, although Al B's shirt kept getting tangled up in the rear wheel causing him to drop off the pace once or maybe twice. Halfway through the trio met up with Steve, The Magic Man, formed a solid foursome paceline, and pounded on home. Great day for a ride here on the island with plenty of lingering clouds passing through to keep things cool. At the end of it all the boys ordered up some horrific Chinese down the street and washed down the slop with diet beverages. Is there any better way to end a hard ride?

Earlier in the week Moveitfred spent the entire day with Al Bangorhard, blowing off a shift at the factory in order to "explore" the doings of a factory a bit west of the boys. Well, both fred and Al felt no need to rush over to this other plant and so they met up at Al's favorite little bike circuit and pounded out a few laps and uphill sprints. After Al blacked out on a final sprint the boys packed up, took care of business at the other shop, and then managed to fill up the rest of their work day at a pub. Is there any better way to spend a day at work?

Tonight Moveitfred's very young daughter will school him into submission at the local pool. Afterwards Moveitfred will draw a warm bubble bath, shave his legs, and then settle into a nice, comfy chair with some warm tea.

genit-ALs

Bowen NOT suspended for this knee to the Nash 'nads.

appeAL?

“I don't think that offer justified a response”

reiproc-AL

A Li'L Something for Solo:

Here's how a real man shaves down pre-race.
(Fred prepping for his last race)

For the Record

Moveitfred does not suck.

Moveitfred is simply guilty of attempting to suck.

iirc

Your American Idol Comments

go here, atmo.

Your NBA Predictions

go here, iirc.

chronologic-AL

So there it was, 10 PM last evening. I'd just returned from a Cinco de Mayo party at Moveitfred's, and I was laying out my goods for the LI 1/2 Marathon this morning. I pulled out the socks and shorts. I grabbed some shit clothes to peel and toss roadside, since it was to be very cold this morning, and I grabbed my watch. Now this watch is about a year old and I'd used it only a day earlier to clock a 5er; nonetheless, the fucker was blank faced. Shit. Back in the car. At 10 pm Sat night, you can't find a place to buy a new timex ironman piece of shit plastic watch. But you can find a drugstore open late that sells batteries...and I did. But when I got home and opened the aformentioned piece of shit plastic watch up, what I saw startled me. There was a whole apparatus that needed to be removed before the battery would come free. There was a plastic liner, a metal cover, a small wire clamp, and two wire clasps. After about 5 minutes of fucking about, I'd busted the bastard beyond repair.

This morning (5:45 AM) I searched around frantically thinking, I must have an old piece of shit plastic watch around somewhere. WRONG! So I sucked it up and ran sans chronometer. This lead to begging a lot of the nearby runners "hey brother, can you spare the time?"



To make matters worse, I have a pretty bad head/chest cold. (Yes, I'm sick again. FUCK!) I had a good 10 minute session of lungee clearing before the start. Here too, though, I worked through it.

It was also windy and cool at the start. (And no, Fred / Woody / Solo, you fucks, I wasn't also menstruating during the race.) But after the 10 mile mark, the wind was behind us and temp was no factor.

I am happy with my run.

Total time: 1:38.40..........Pace: 7:32
I ran 1-10 at about 7:35-40 and then picked up a bit for the final 3 (wind behind me at the finish).

This was a good training race. I'm going to take a few days off to get healthy and start in on training for the Mossman Olympic Tri on 6/9.

bestow-AL

A li'l something for Moveitfred Jr. (turn volume up LOUD)

Moveitfred's Available

Lessee. Ullrich gone to pasture. Basso out. Hamilton and his twin out. Dozens more about to get busted.


Fuck it. Moveitfred's been hammering out over a hunnerd miles a week. He's feeling good. He's got some free time on his hands.


This is an official offer: Moveitfred is available to fill out a roster this summer.

motivation-AL

Whaddya Think, Nega-Coach?














This was a good weekend for training--nice hard ride Saturday and a good long run Sunday. (I won't give my pace/heartrate/power output/level of arousal). Next Sunday is the Long Island Half Marathon. Cool beans.

Watch out for that...

Classic cycling moment brought to you by Moveitfred Jr:

Moveitfred and Moveitfred Jr. (six years old and beginning to dig the whole zen/bike thing) are out for a 2 mile spin around the harbor.

Close to home Moveitfred Jr. jumps a curb onto the sidewalk and says, "Hey Moveitfred, watch this!"

"Dude, what are you doing?"

"Watch, just watch..."

WHAM! Straight into a telephone pole.

Moveitfred peels over to admire the yard sale and says, "Dude, what happened?"

Moveitfred Jr. shakes away the pink canaries and says, "Ah man, now THAT wasn't supposed to happen...."

Misc-AL-any

Well, a few bits of flotsam and jetsom to cover folks:

1) AL-ec

Many have complained about Alec Baldwin's rant on his daughter's voicemail. Well, we've just now heard the explanation. Baldwin was running lines for a reprise of his award winning character, Blake, in the upcoming sequel "Glengarry Glen Ross 2: Shelley Levene Strikes Back."

And remember, Coffee is for closers, you fucks.



2) Giuliani the Jackass: In the wake of Giuliani's ludicrous vote for me or die here's Keith Olbermann kicking Rudy's ass from here to Iraq and back.

3) And since I don't want to veer completely away from the sporting life, here's a little something from The Onion:
NEWPORT, RI–Some rich guy came in first Monday in that big, famous yacht race held every year at the Newport Yacht Club, a big, fancy yacht place with "a whole lot of really expensive-looking boats and shit," sources reported.

Trivi-AL Pursuits

Well, another training update here. Whoop-dee-fucking-doo, right? Anyway, the Als did a nine-er this morning before heading into the factory. Nice run. We warmed up with a mile at 9 and then trimmed down to low 8s for the remainder.


Dismiss-AL

Your hero, Al Bangorhard, pulled a fast one and slipped out of work today. (Yes, this is after coming in late due to my long run.) I dismissed myself and headed to Shea. Where I spent 6 innings swallowing as much as I could (beer that is). Then I headed home thinking, " a bad day at Shea is better than a good day at work."

Land of the Vines

A strange occurrence happened here in Auburn, California this last few days. For some unexplained reason, a storm veered off tract and instead of slamming into the North Eastern States as usual, it passed right through Northern California. What the hell. This is April. We rarely get rain here in God's country and never in April. Temps should be in the upper 80's by now. So as expected after a gully washer, the trails were muddy as heck.

Sunday was the 17th running of the Napa Valley Dirt Classic mountain bike race and Heywood's first. Big Cat, Heywood, and The Cook made the two hour drive through a torrential downpour in the wife's gas guzzling SUV to the town of Angwin, just a stones throw from Napa. Upon our arrival we found nothing but beautiful rays from the sun shinning on the muddy trails. These conditions were going to make for a delightful race. This race draws a large crowd and even a few pro's like Mark Weir to name a few.

So with the firing of the gun, the race was off to a fast pace. Started with a few muddy climbs that were rideable and then the WALL came into Wood's view. This short steep hill was most likely walked by all racers on the course this year. Once atop the hill it was back on the bicycle for some fast, muddy terrain. Trying to stay upright was made very difficult due to all the mud that accumulated on the tires. While on one of the early descents, Wood took a nasty crash on a gradual left-hand bender. Not very technical, just unable to get any traction until I hit the large stump just off the trail. No worries, still riding. There was some of the most beautiful single track that I have ridden for the next few miles. Lots of turns, tight, ups and downs. Just amazing until.... the big climb.

Now Heywood does not have one of those computer things on his bike. You know, the kind that show you how far the bike has traveled. So at about mile 15, came this climb that has to be longest, steepest, longest climb Heywood has seen while aboard a mountain bike. It just keep going. Right when you thought it was over, you turned a corner and it got steeper. Never seen so many people pushing there bikes up a hill. Wood tried to stay on top of his bicycle as much as possible but had to walk a few spots. The mud made it even more difficult than this climb should have been. Believe the climb lasted about 4-5 miles before finally leveling off. From there, just a sprint to the finish.

So with a time clocked at just under a day, Heywood Jablome crossed the finish line. Was he first? Nope. But he did set a personal best time. More importantly, Wood beat the guy on the unicycle. Thank God. Will do this race next year fo sho.

Lessons learned:
1. Use tires more suited for mud when riding in mud.
2. Don't use brand new cycling shoes for the first time during a race.
3. If you do violate lesson number 2 (above), bring mole skin for the blisters.
4. Don't drink a 40 before the race.

Fred Dualey

Hang down your head, Fred Dualey
Hang down your head and cry
Hang down your head, Fred Dualey
Poor boy, you're bound to die

Moveitfred squeezed in a dualey today by:
a) Running one mile with the daughter this a.m.
b) Transitioning onto the bike for a hard two hours with multiple hill repeats
c) Lacing back up the sneaks for an easy three

Moveitfred spent what was left of the day sprawled out on the soccer sidelines watching his kids boot the little white ball and getting the top of his melon burned to an even red.

Makes Moveitfred feel like singin'.

first day with the new wheALs

Could it be? Yes it could!
Something's happening, something good!

Here Comes the sun...doo..do..doo...do



Wow what a morning to ride!!! The weather is just gorgeous. And after this shit spring, we deserve it! I popped on the new wheels for the first time, and away I went.





I did some big wheel grinding and pounded out 25 miles at a good clip. WHOA! These wheels are fast. They spin like tops. And it doesn't hurt that they're up near 130 psi. After the ride, I slung that little aero rocket into the back of the truck and ran a 5 miler. Nice du-AL workout for my saturday morning. Weather was so nice, I didn't want to stop.

On another note, who's gonna teach me how to change a tubular? I don't expect a flat, but I'm fucked if I get one. 'Bout all I know is it involves no tools and some glue. Nothing good can come of this.