therm-AL

FUCK! It was cold.

Al completed the Ironclad Triathlon this morning.(Sprint tri: The swim course was .5, the bike 13.5, the run a 5k.) Al jumped in the fucking LI Sound (55 degrees, fuck burr!) at 7:30 this AM. This was my first open water of the season. The new wetsuit was great. My trunk was fine; head, hands, feet iced over quickly and went numb, so there wasn't much pain there after the first minute or so. So all went pretty well with this leg. There were about 150-200 people in my swim wave. Things were a bit hectic at the start. I decided (since it was the first of the season) to be low key. I hung back and got in after about 1/2-3/4 were gone. This proved a bit ill-advosed. Conditions were awesome (not including the floating ice sheets), without chop or current, Al was cooking. I was up the ass of the group in front of me. It wasn't until about 1/2 way through the swim that I found clear water (after much pushing, shoving, jostling and passing) and a comfortable spot out ahead of the group I jumped in with.

T 1 was interesting. There was a STEEP hill up to the T area along sand then grass then pavement. Everyone was bitching about this because it really was a long steep haul (3/8ths of a mile, I'd guess). Al expeditiously got out of the wetsuit but had some trouble using hands and feet. This T was definitely slowed by numbness. C'est la..

Bike route was 2 loops of a rather uniform almost 7 mile course--downhill out, uphill back. I moved better on the second loop. First loop was all about getting some warmth back in the bod. (And this is not done easily when you're in a skimpy shirt and shorts and biking quickly in 60 degree temps). Only one really interesting note. Al did go down. Right before the last turn into the T area, Al was pumping hard and out ahead of a pack. The douchebag copper who was supposed to be working the intersection was yapping on his cell phone. Al came into the turn hard and found a car coming in from the other direction. Dick-head cop was supposed to stop traffic. Al assumed he would. He did not. He was too busy with, "can you hear me now?" Anyway, Al went full lock to stay clear of the motorist. I stopped with room to spare, but my shoes slid on the pave when I foot dabbed, and I went down. No harm though. I popped up and went on (with a yell over the shoulder of, "thanks asshole" to Johnny-Law). Al, after-all, is a rebel.

T2 was better for Al: the transition run up in bike shoes was short and on grass--easier than paved run up. I slapped on a cap, stamped into the kicks, and I was outta there.

The run was powerful cool. It was a trail 5k through Wellwyn preserve in Glen Cove. This is a lush foresty setting with a good deal of twisty-turny up and down. Big old or second growth trees abound, and there is plenty of shade. (Just so you know: Al is middle pack in the agua and mediocre, at best, on the bike, and marginally respectable on the run.) The tight trail run made passing interesting, but Al made it happen. I slammed through the run holding, I believe, sub 7:30s through the trails. The finish was a bit crowded, but Al pulled down a 1:38 hi and finished 13th in his age group.

Some pics:

refus-AL

Al cannot take the blame for Fred's problems. Fred is paranoid.

And gay.

The gay thing I completely support. I understand that Fred wants to keep it "in the closet." And I'm ok with that. (I don't like the ass slaps, the 'hey big fella's, the crying 'hold me's, and the curtains he hung up on the office window, but I support his rights, man.)




The paranoia is a whole other thing, though. Fred. Fred. Listen to me...


I'm not Mr. Lebowski; you're Mr.
Lebowski. I'm the Dude. So that's
what you call me. That, or Duder.
His Dudeness. Or El Duderino, if,
you know, you're not into the whole
brevity thing...

Al Is Persecuting Moveitfred

This is a public service announcement. Al Bangorhard is persecuting Moveitfred. Al is relentless, cunning, and deceptive. This is premeditated madness.

Al is not to be trusted.

Toss

Moveitfred knows that every cycling brain donor in blogosphere is linking this clip of Millar tossing one off in the Giro, yet what's yawking Moveitfred's chain (so to speak)is all the douchebags splurking on and on about their "disappointment" and "outrage" at the dopey Brit.

Moveitfred would love to see these douches pecking away at the keyboards in their little cubicles. "Millar has no respect for the sport or his sponsors...."

Bwaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Moveitfred once tossed his Davidson across the yard and against a tree because the fucking brake pads were rubbing. Moveitfred is such a badass! Moveitfred wanted to toss the piece of shit up into the tree and let it rot, but the combination of old-school steel (circa 1980's) and his limp-wristed physique left the bike kind of skittering across the grass and into the maple's root system.

Moveitfred, however, made his point loud and clear.

Crimanimalz

Kicking some ass in Los Angeles last week.

Moveitfred pussed out riding his bike around the secretary's desk at the factory. Sheeet. Al, we's got some work to do.

indestructib-AL etc.

This is one of those posts that has a lot of shit in it. I'm sitting in a Greenwich, CT hotel lobby drinking a pot of coffee while the mrs. does a spa treatment. (Weekend away for Mother's day, y'all.) So I've got some time on my hands...

1) Al K. accompanied me the other day to Runner's Edge for our new Wetsuits. We both got QR Ultrafull's. Cold water training will commense ASAP.

2) Related to #1, I've got the Ironclad Tri in Glen Cove on the 24th. This is a sprint tri, so the swim is only a 1/2 mile. BUT current avg. water temp is 56 degrees. I'm told it will climb a degree or so over the next 2 weeks. Awesome! I'm very glad I've invested in a full suit. prior to this, I only had a John (sleeveless) suit. No way a big pussy like me could do this tri in a cut suit.

3)I just finished kitting out my commuter bike. My trip to work is from a park and ride that's about 1/2 way to the factory. The trip is about 17 miles each way. HOWEVER...the roads SUCK. Pitted, potted, debris strewn etc. So I converted my MTB to a bomber commuter. I slapped on a Surly rigid fork and some killer armadillo slicks. A few other tweeks here and there completed the project. I'll put up pics at some point.

4) Fred staged a duathlon out East yesterday. I missed this, being away. But Al K told me it was a kick ass success. I'm looking forward to the next one. Fred makes things happen. He's a do-er. In that spirit...this vids for you, Freddy.

canc-AL

Al intervenes...

Sorry Fred. But the image of that big bastards balls blinding that poor chick was causing me to taste bile every time I entered the blog. I had to take it down.

Please forgive me.

nob-AL?

To be, or not to be, that is the question...

Al has some thinking to do...

So, today I did a little research. and what I found sent my mind spinning a bit.

First, a little background: as I told you in a recent post, I'm back to (or close to) my best 1/2 marathon times. Though my best times were 10 years old (when I was 29), I'm matching those now. This got me thinking and looking about. Like any marathoner, I'd love to run Boston. Many people run it (they just jump in and run in the mix unofficial or they buy a number from an injured party or they do a fund raiser and get special access). Only a select number qualify and run it "officially." It is considered the premier marathon event.

Now back in the day, my marathon PR was a 3:16 and change. I wanted to do Boston, but my qualifying time then was 3:10. I just couldn't get there. But, on the next running of the Boston (4/09), I'll be 40. My qualifying time for that is 3:20. Back in the day, I ran a number of marathons at sub 3:20. I ran 7 or 8 in the 3:17-3:19 range.

So here is what I'm asking myself: self, if you can get yourself back to almost PR time for your 1/2 marathon...can't you do the same for your marathon time? If I do that, or even close, I'll qualify for Boston. Wouldn't it be cool to do Boston on your 40th? The voice says.

Here are the problems with that thought line:

• I'm jumping into the tri season with both feet this year. I'm booked up for tris through late August. I'll need to qualify for Boston in a Fall marathon, if I hope to do it in my 40th year. That doesn't leave me much time.
• Even if I decide to cut short my tri season (say...skip the last tri I'm signed up for?) I have no way of knowing if I can whip these bones back into my past-best marathon shape.
• I'm in the NYC marathon lottery. If I get into that one, I'll be psyched. I haven't gotten into NYC since 02, though I've done the lottery each year. BUT...NYC is not a fast course. I'm thinking that I might need every bit of help I can get. One usually chooses a flat/fast course to try and bag a PR. But the little voice says, grow a bag. Think how great it would be to qualify in a tough marathon on your home turf.

Oh decisions, decisions...

Tea

Al is very healthy. He is very into tea. Especially in the office.

Good for Al.

Just keep your used teabags off Fred's desk, m'kay buddy?

comic-AL

If you ain't laughin', you cryin'...

conferr-AL

Al and Fred may now rest...

It was an eventful weekend for Al ... and for Fred too (to a lesser extent).
Al and Fred were responsible for putting together the first annual Acme Mechanical Equipment Tool and Die Festival: A Celebration of Tool and Die Manufacturing. This event was a rousing success, bringing together the best in tool and die manufacturing from our region. It took a good deal of planning and work to pull off this event, but we did it.

Al also ran the Long Island 1/2 today, 5/4.
I ran the race in about 1:37.30. The exact time has yet to be posted. I had 1:38 at the finish, but my adjusted time will be about 30 seconds or so faster...it took a while to get over the start line with all the racers starting at once. I'm happy with this time. I was doing about 7:30s or a few seconds faster for the race.

Last year's LI Marathon time for AL = 1:38.39

I looked back at some more of my times from 10 years ago. I'm happy to see that I'm still in the same zone I was: Brooklyn 1/2 in March of 1998 = 1:37.33; Bronx 1/2 in July of 1998 = 1:36.19 ; Grete's gallop (a 1/2 in Central Park) in 10/99 = 1:39.36 ; Staten Island 1/2 in 10/99 = 1:35.06.

A lot happened for me in those 10 years. I got married. Became a dad 2x over. Moved 4x. Put on 35 pounds. (And boy was I slow as shit when I put that weight on...Brooklyn 1/2 in 03 = 1:56.07.) Lost 35 pounds. Changed jobs 2x. Aged from 29-39. Started triathloning. And a lot of other silly shit like this. Anyway...the gist of all this is that I feel pretty good about finding my way back after losing it in my mid 30s. That's all.

A Story About Al and Fred

A few weeks ago at the factory Boss-man came out from his windowless office (pulling up his drawers while the new hire from the cafeteria beat a hasty retreat back to her station at the soup counter), hit the stop button on the line, and barked out an announcement:

"Attention, Pieces of Shit. Corporate threw a few bucks our way for you scum to do what we like to call 'retraining.' This means you fuck-nuts can take a little R&R at a hot spot like Camden or Bridgeport, pick up some tips on streamlining the assembly line from another factory, try not to get yourselves arrested, and then get your asses back to work here."

Boss-man is such an asshole. Al once lost his cool and called him a "fat fuck" right to his face. Nearly got himself canned.

Later that day at lunch, Al and Fred broke open the Black Domes and hatched a joke. They'd apply for Boss-man's "retraining" offer, but construct an argument for something completely absurd and irrelevant--some sort of "program" that would would have nothing to do with the assembly line and amount to a paid vacation of greed and debauchery for our heroes. Stick it to the man, so to speak.

Al and Fred would apply to...ready for this?...become students at UCLA out in the warm Cali sunshine for a year. Freakin' nuts, right? Who is their right mind would....

You ready for the punchline?

Boss-man bought it. Every bit of it. Hook, line, and wiggly slab of bait.

Here is Boss-man:



And here's where you'll find Al and Fred next year:



Al and Fred have already signed up for this. Oh Sweet Mary, the boys have really pulled off a coup this time!

invisib-AL

Today, Fred and Al were sent to a "training" session at the factory. The training was designed to teach us how to use new machinery and maximize our worker-energy microwattage. At about 3 PM, I had had my fill of being trained. I did what any red blooded American would do. I faked a groin pull. I lay writhing and moaning on the floor while my co-workers debated whether ice or deep tissue massage would be appropriate. Now normally, I'd be all for the deep tissue. But Fred had his sleeves pushed up and was jumping up and down yipping, "I'll do it! I'll do it!" So I screamed, "for the love of god, get me ice!" My fellow cogs ran about like rats from a sinking ship looking for cold compresses to ease my discomfort. In the chaos that ensued, I made a hasty exit.

After high-tailing it out of there (leaving my co workers holding the ice bag) I went for a nice 6 in the woods. I did the 3 mile loop at Bethpage SP 2x. It was wet but not too sloppy. In all, a nice easy run where I held 8:15s for the 6.

Part II: Performance Enhancement revisited



If you've paid attention to the sports headlines, you've seen that since Speedo unveiled its new Fastskin suit, the LZR Racer, in February, 6 world records have been broken by swimmers wearing the suit. The Fastskin suits create a slippery and impermeable layer that dramatically reduces drag, compresses muscles to improve performance and efficiency, and improves buoyancy. Controversy surround this sort of enhancement and has been there since these types of suit were first approved for competitive swim. Another major issue revolves around licensing. Certain teams--countries--can not use these suits because of licensing agreements. Many argue that this gives some teams an unfair advantage. We all know that this sort of equipment "upgrade" causes controversy in any sport: baseball, cycling, golf even Tennis. But the limited availability of the technology may be the source of even deeper controversy than is typical. Thoughts?

Part III
This equipment reminds me of the wetsuit "issue" in triathlon (only tangentially but...) I won't say it is really an issue. It is more of a point of discussion. There are many weaker swimmers who rely on full wetsuits even in warm water swims because of the buoyancy enhancement that wetsuits give. Tri suit manufacturers play to this and build the most buoyant wetsuits out there; and, not surprisingly, the most popular tri suits are the lightest and most buoyant suits. In short, BUOYANCY SELLS when it comes to tri suits. The ITU (International Triathlon Union) has set guidelines for tri wetsuit usage. These revolve, primarily, around the water temp (taken 1 day prior to race). Essentially, there is a temp range for each tri length within which it is permissible to use a suit. If it is warmer than the range, technically, suits are not allowed. The thing is this...in most trithlons, this rule is not applied. Anyone can use a suit regardless of temp. Only in the most competitive USAT races is this rule enforced. The reasons for this revolve around "performance issues." Many swimmers would perfomr poorly (and probably wouldn't compete) without a wetsuit. Organizers might worry (legitimately) that some swimmers would get into trouble and need rescue without a wetsuit.

I'm not sure of my stance on this. I can say that I don't enter a tri if I feel I can't "do it" without enhancement. I can swim the length with/without a suit. I am not fast, but I can "do" all three legs in any race I enter. I guess I feel that this should be the approach of all competitors. But I understand how equipment may mean access for some. It is an interesting topic. Thoughts?

spiritu-AL

This is just a brief post to wish you, those of you who are observant, a happy and healthy holiday time. Al is always sensitive to the beliefs and traditions of his audience. And it is in this spirit that he shares this message.

Now to "switch" topics...

Al will soon head south for an important moment in his childrens' lives: the viewing of the rat. Al's head is full of important questions about this momentous occasion:

Will the hotel have a decent gym?
How many pairs of running shoes should I carry?
Do I bother to rent a bike to get in a ride if we're only gone 5 days?
Will my son spew chunks if I take him on Space Mountain?

Wish me luck.

surgic-AL

Wood is down.

The poor fuck, Heywood, found out he's got a torn meniscus. After having 3 knee surgeries myself, I can commiserate...it sucks. (In my experience, a tear in the meniscus=certain surgery or no more athletics.) I'm sure many of you out there can offer your thoughts to Heywood on this. Knees ain't built to last, it seems. So here's my list of thoughts. You add yours in comments:
1. Get well soon. Don't despair...you'll come back. I've done many tris and marathons since my last surgery. You will too.
2. Find the best knee guy you can. Don't just go with an orthopedic surgeon...find one who specializes in knees. I was young and dumb with my first knee injury. The local guy "did me." I wound up needing that redone 3 years later. The other knee came later: a friend got me in to see the guy who scopes the NY Jets, for that knee. He was awesome. Really knew his stuff. And he was much more aggresive / intelligent with rehab than the other two times.
3. Start PT ASAP after surgery. Because you're an athlete, you're apt to think you can do your own rehab/PT. Resist this urge. Get going on PT ASAP.

Here are some funny things I found...
Running on road doesn't really hurt my knees. Any sort of cutting motions and trail running kill me. 10 miles on the road...no problem. So I still run, but I don't play Bball, football, racqetball, or trail run, really, anymore. Funny thing is you'd think trail running would be easier than road because of the soft turf. Not in my experience. My last surgery was 10 years ago...I seem to be doing ok so I just accept that some things are not "for me" anymore.

Some other things I do that help me...
Warm up well all the time. Easy spin, easy run, easy swim FIRST. No matter what I'm doing, I get blood going and build. I never go right at it.

Here's one that helped me a lot with running: shoe rotation. Shoes need gas recharge time. If you run in the same shoes each day, the cushioning is seriously compromised. I buy 3 pair at a time and rotate. They last just as long if not longer and provide better cushioning the whole time.

Smart weight training (well after you're fully rehabbed!) to maintain musculature around the knees. I never do heavy leg weight training nor radical motions anymore. (In college we did heavy squats, leaps, 1000 lb leg sleds etc...DUMB.) Now I do no-weight SLOW & BURN squats with a fixed range of motion--I never let my quad go below parallel to the floor and I take a 10 second pause/hold/fucking burn at the sit portion of the squat then come up SLOW. I also do low weight extensions in a similar manner--slow and burn and hold. Again, I wouldn't even think about this shit until well after you're fully rehabbed.

My father-in-law swears by shark cartilage and glucosamine/condroitin (or whatever the fuck it is) for his knee injury. I think this is bullshit and will wind up fucking up your liver/kidneys in the long run. Others can weigh in on this one.

Hang in there, brother.

charitab-AL

Both Al and Fred have been subjected to American Idol by wives/kids this season. It's certainly had a negative effect on us. I've followed my natural bent and spun off even further into sickness and depravity. (I've been thinking that little miss Kristy Lee ain't as wholesome as she lets on. I'm waiting for the underground porn tape to surface. I'm picturing a vid phone mpeg, all jumpy and grainy and shot from dick level. Kristy Lee is all teary eyed and make-up smeared at the center of some truck stop bukkake circle.) Fred, too, has followed his natural bent. He's fantasizing about long walks and deep talks with Brooke White. He wants 7 grain veggie sandwich picnics and zinfandel beside a stream. He's all misty eyed, snapping his fingers and singing along with her.

So, in that spirit, I thought I'd offer this to Freddy: (And Fred...think of what she could do with your hair.)



Here's one other point I'd like to have considered--only tangentially related. What do you think of a broad who writes a song FULL of specific details about your life

Well I hear you went up to Saratoga
And your horse naturally won
Then you flew your Lear jet up to Nova Scotia
To see the total eclipse of the sun

and then kicks you in the ass for vanity because you knew the song was about you? I mean what the fuck?

Just Confirms What We Already Knew...

Mary Ann's a super freak, super freak, she's super freaky--YEAH!

Farrar Taps Pavement

Farrar gambles and loses on the tight line in the Paris-Nice prologue. FFFFFFFF....uck!

Chute Paris Nice 2008 FARRAR Tyler
Uploaded by Maxio

Warm up, Stretch, Race

Today, the mountain bike season officially started for us out here on the west coast (for me at least). First off, I would like to throw huge props out to Lisa (owner of Auburn Bike Works) and Sean Allen (local MTB rider) for making the 16th Annual Cool Mountain Bike Race a spectacular event once again. Year after year, these two, along with the help of many volunteers, do a magnificent job. This year three bikes were raffled off along with thousands of other bike stuff. The organization, location, and great prizes will usually draw huge crowds that include some top pros.

The weather couldn’t have been more perfect along with the trail conditions. Cool typically floods when anyone within a mile takes a leak in the bushes causing a muddy mess for all participants and spectators. Not the case this year due to the sunny skies that have blessed us the last two weeks. Riders had to navigate just a handful of water crossings and a few muddy sections. Fast is the way to describe this year’s course.

My goals for this race was to treat it like a hard training ride, whatever place that puts me in I would be happy with. From the start, I pushed hard to get myself away from the bumping and grinding that seems to happen until the riders get separated. Soon, I found myself all alone and not really knowing who was in front of me or who was behind me due to the large number of riders at the start. Shortly, I was picking off riders from the previous wave start with ease. At this point I was feeling really good. It wasn’t until after the first lap that I realized I might be near the front of my class. So I kinda threw the whole training ride to the curb and started pushing myself to the point of nausea. When the race was all said and done, I got a podium finish even after bumping up a class this year. Twenty minutes off last year’s race. Finally starting to see a marked improvement come from all the training put in this winter.

One very cool part of the race is the tiny bike class. This class is filled with local freeride/dirt jumping/down-hilling/urban/non-racing riders who would rather goof off than put on Lycra and race. The rules, bikes must have 16 inch wheels and cost no more than $40. They ride ½ lap and try to consume as much alcohol as possible in that short time frame. I hope to participate in this class soon if I could just convince my breathtaking wife to drive me home.

The Chef and Big Cat were unable to race this year due to some nagging injuries and a few nasty crashes. I hope to see them out on the trails soon.

bronchi-AL

Al endures...

This AM brooks and I went down to the State Park for the LIRRC 10 miler. It was COLD!!! and WINDY!!! this early am. Temps were hovering at 30. Winds were gusty as hell. Wind chill had it near 5 degrees. Fahk!

I had wanted to run 7:30s. I ran 7:50s instead. I had some weirdness happen to me, and it freaked me out more than just a little. I was having these weird asthmatic-like wheeze attacks during the very open/windy sections of the run. The cold wind would tear into me, and I just could not breathe. I wheezed my way through those sections, feeling like I was drawing air through a straw. It sucked. My chest felt like it was spasming until a good hour or two post-race.

After I got home, I was ok. I got down to Tyvek-ing the exterior where the new doors and windows went in. Then I cam in and insulated the new walls. Much fun. we're coming along. And now, a little something for Fred (who is still contemplating activity). Oh and thanks to GVB for turning me on to this...